I haven't exactly been the best at updating this thang right here (but it's not like I have millions of adoring fans), but since I finally have some quiet time...I'd like to reflect on the past year's events.

I could just make some cheesy list like some people or try to find one word that encompasses the whole year (but I won't bite off Cheryll, she's much cooler and smarter than I am). But I won't. It'll prolly be more "deep thoughts"-ish...you know, like Jack Handey.

Or I could go on about how growth isn't necessarily measured by inches or years, but by the status of your life. Are you still living with Mom and Dad, or old college roommates? Are you still working your retail job that pays you about $7.50/ hr or have you found a career with full medical/dental benefits? Are you still trying to pay off college debt or putting a down on a brand new condo?

I could tell you what I did this year...worked full-time, moved into a house with Byron...what I longed for this year...financial independence, emotional stability, a baby...what I want for next year...a better paying job, unconditional support, a family.

Looks like it's gonna be an interesting year. Party safe everyone.

"I cannot stand still. I can't be this unsturdy. This cannot be happening..."

I feel like shit.

I feel like shit because I've been up since 5 this morning, braved a 1 1/2 commute to Fremont, then another 30 min to Dublin, 8 hours of bullshit from stupid ass parents, 2 hour commute back to Fremont, almost falling asleep on the way to San Jose, a boyfriend that asked the same question over and over because he wasn't listening the first, second or third time, the same boyfriend that doesn't think that laughing and pointing out a booger on my nose is in anyway mean or embarrassing and now I'm on the damn computer because I just can't go back to sleep.

"This is over my head, but underneath my feet 'cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat..."

I guess I should get used to this right? No acknowledgement like I've become some kind of permanent fixture...like I'm not supposed to take anything personally.

"And everything will be back to the way that it was...I wish that it was just that easy."
-Lifehouse, Somewhere In Between

you are deepskyblue #00BFFF

Your dominant hues are cyan and blue. You like people and enjoy making friends. You're conservative and like to make sure things make sense before you step into them, especially in relationships. You are curious but respected for your opinions by people who you sometimes wouldn't even suspect. Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

I cannot wait until this week is over...and the funny thing is, I haven't even gone to work this week yet! HA! As you all may know, there are only 9 shopping days left until Christmas. I think that Byron and I have gotten about...oh...1/4 of it done and that was all last night! Man...we already knew that this Christmas was going to be tight being that we just moved out into our brand new house and are still trying to get used to all the bills (not to mention each other) as well as recover from that extravanganza we called a "housewarming." I know that B has been stressin' about money and bills and what-not and I'm trying not to be (too much of) a bitch. Work's got me stressin' and these 2 bounced checks...gosh that hasn't happened in YEARS...like COLLEGE YEARS.

It's funny how just when you think you have a handle on your money (whoa, that rhymed!), some other shit has to happen like a traffic ticket or unexpected payments (like house tax). One of my biggest fears when moving into this house was money. You know that money is the root of all evil and breaks up happy homes and marriages. I'm glad that we're getting through this together and hopefully it'll get easier as we get used to it...that's until we complicate it with a baby or something (haha). But for the most part, we're handling it and that's all that matters.

NOTE for NEXT YEAR: Parents, please don't wait til the last minute to take your pictures last minute and if you do, don't get mad 'cuz you have to wait. It's not Kiddie Kandids fault that y'all are LAZY PROCRASTINATORS.

The Holidays Suck.

The Holidays in Retail Suck Dick.

The Holidays in Retail as Management Sucks Donkey Dick.

The Holidays in Retail as Management Dealing with Children Sucks Big Donkey Dick.

The Holidays in Retail as Management Dealing with Children and Their Retarded Parents SUCKS BIG FAT DONKEY DICK.


HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL!

I feel like lately someone (or something) is trying to tell me something. My friend Lisa has a non-profit business that gives low-income mothers stuff like baby clothes that are donated by other people. She also spent most of her Thanksgiving at a food shelter with her family feeding the homeless. I called her a philanthropist and asked her where she gets the stregth to do all these good deeds.

She told me that God told her to do it.

So does that mean that God's trying to tell me something? If he is, speak clearer...I'm not sure that I understand.

It's weird how you could live with someone and never really get to spend "quality time" with them. I mean...you see them every freakin' day, they're the first person you see when you wake up and the last person you see when you fall asleep, yet there aren't many opportunities to just sit there and enjoy their company. It was like that when I lived at my parent's house and it's sorta like that now. Don't get me wrong...I love living at Mountain House and I love living with Byron (even though he REALLY knows how to PUSH MY BUTTONS) it's just that we get so caught up with our lives at work and truly forget to look around us and to enjoy the company of the ones you love. I thought that I learned so much about myself when I was away at school only to come back to the reality that I"M STILL LEARNING. There's so much more that I want to experience while knowing that I've experienced so much to this point in my life. Does that make sense? If it doesn't, forgive me...I worked 12 hours straight today.

I guess the point is...as adults we still grow. I don't think that I'll ever be the same person I was yesterday and tomorrow I won't be the same person I am today because I'm constantly wanting to know more about myself and about my life around me. How profound, huh? See what happens when you have about 30 minutes to yourself in the car alone speeding down the Altamont (sorry B, I know that scares you).

Hey! I'm going to Disneyland in T-minus 3 days! WOOHOO!