Wow.
It's the last day of April.
Wow.

She was sitting in the audience, mesmerized by the sounds and sights of the performers in front of her. Relaxed in her chair, she folded her arms in front of her and closed her eyes. Smiling, she opened her eyes and came to an epiphany.

I'm surrounded by a bunch of fucking FOBs.

What a show. Thanks honey.

Sigh...

For some reason, I cannot sleep past 7:30am. So, I decided to take a personality test.
Here's the results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate

I'm starting to get that feeling again. You know, the one where you feel like you need to get out...but you really don't know where to go.

I would talk about it with someone, but he seems to be sleeping.

I grow exhausted with those who can be (and most of the time are) walking contradictions. You know, that phenomenon of "the tea kettle calling the pot black" or some shit like that. It irks me that so many people have their heads so far up their asses, that they aren't even listening to what they are saying. Get off your fucking high horse, you ain't shit. It's still the same struggle no matter how much more you think you've suffered.

No babe, I'm not talking about you so don't worry.

On a lighter note...Miah is going to visit me at the end of May. YAY!

We make our choices based on the life experiences of not only ourselves, but by the people closest to us. Whether it is due to advice taken, mistakes learned from, or preventive measures to not repeat history, we should remember that it all happens for a reason. Resentment, like jealousy, is a wasted emotion that has no positive outcome. You get nothing from it, except negativity towards those you harbor this feeling against. Realize whatever you want...

...but realize the person that was holding you back just might be yourself.

Man.

Nothing sucks more than wanting some...and not getting any.

Man.

Although I do realize that I am fortunate enough to get booty on the regular...it still sucks when your NOT getting it.

Man.

I would like to thank...

Kiddie Kandids for taking a chance on a girl like me
Bay Area Traffic for not being as bad as I thought
Justin Timberlake, JT Snow & Morris Chesnut for being so hot that I am proud to not be a lesbian
Toyota for creating a Celica as fly as mine
Santa Barbara for giving me a home away from home
Pharell Williams for proving that ANYONE can sing and make millions
American Idol for giving Paula Abdul steady work again
Syndicated Shows for something to watch on my days off
Ex-Boyfriends for showing me what NOT to look for
Warriors for creating an interest in basketball
Kevin Smith for being the man
Mom for birthing me
Dad for giving me money
Zen & Ben for a computer with DSL
Jimbo for something to laugh at
Taryn for something to spoil and take pictures of

and...

My baby Byron...

...for last night (muahahaha)

I was driving home from my sister's house. Byron was in his car and I was in mine. He rolls down his window like he usually when he pulls next to me. He always manages to make me smile, regardless of how I'm feeling. As I approached my street, he continued to go straight. I was left waiting at the light, watching his tail lights get smaller and smaller.

It was then I realized that I HATE it when we part.

QUICK! Someone find a solution!

MULLET HAIKUS

I plan to look fly this summer, which means that I have exactly 2 months to do so. I went grocery shopping this morning after I came home from Byron's house. My plan is to eat Cherrios in the morning, a salad for lunch and a reasonable dinner. I will also not drink any more soda. Snacking at work will now be replaced by drinking a shitload of water or chewing gum. I will also start an excercise regimine that includes the use of my Tae Bo tapes.

I CAN DO THIS!

Aww...

How cute.

...last night i spent the night in san jose...as i do from time to time...but there was something about this sleepover that was different than other times...and not different in a bad way...but different in a good way...i wasn't thinking about going home too late...about staying awake as someone slept...or even dwelling on my day up until that point...we slept...side-by-side...occasionally flinging our arms around each other...it was like it was normal...like that's how we are supposed to be...coming home from work to each other...talking about our day...maybe even crying because working 9 days in a row just sucks...then laughing and making each other laugh...then falling asleep...and waking up to go to work.

have i mentioned that we're looking for a house together?

i can't wait :)

Guess who!?!?

Quick Update: I was in Reno from the 25th to the 27th and have been working everyday since.

Remember when all my entries used to be about me going crazy because I was unemployed?

I should be careful what I wish for.

I hate waiting.

Waiting sucks. What the point of telling someone what you want if they're not gonna remember it in an hour and a half anyway? I mean, what the fuck is that shit? Why can't shit run on my time schedule? Why can't shit happen when I want it to? When do I get to be queen, when everything I say happens within the next 20 seconds and I don't have to wait for anything?

I hate waiting.

Remember how back in the day, when you were like in junior high, how concentrated you were about events that were just out of your control (i.e. wanting to know if the boy/girl you liked was into you or if your current "relationship" would work out) and would do just about anything to see into the future? I know I did. I used to be way into that astrology shit, seeing if my sign/his sign matched and religiously read my horoscope every day. I've learn over the past couple of years that it's all a bunch of bullshit (sidebar: although the people that DO believe in that stuff, far be it from me to knock your belief system), yet I still manage to have my horscope sent to me everyday via email. Usually, it's just amusing to me and I like the fact that I get email everyday (I'm a loser). But my horoscope for today scared the fucking shit out of me because it was fucking DEAD ON.

"Today you might decide to sequester yourself within the home, catching your breath, getting your thoughts together, and recalling the events of the past several days. You'll also find yourself thinking of plans for the future, DAWN, as you're feeling especially optimistic now and energetic enough to pursue whatever goals you may have. At some point you're likely to share this with a close friend and seek their support and opinions."

I had a long day at work today and all I could think about was chillin' at home and seeing my boyfriend. I recently started my job and have been learning so much, so alot of my thoughts revert back to work. I just had a long conversation with my good friend Phillip who I've known forever and I totally respect his opinions and thoughts. We were talking about how he wants to get married and how I'm going to look at houses with Byron and his parents tomorrow morning.

Coincidence? I hope so. If not, God help us all.

My STD:
(Shit To Do)

Number 1: Think of ways to market for work
In my old job, it was bad to take your work home with you. I have yet to learn the same rings true for this one.

Number 2: Thoroughly plan my sister's baby shower
I can't begin to tell you how difficult it is to plan a shower for someone with major control issues.

Number 3: Pay of Citibank credit cards
Job = $$$ going to bills

Number 4: Buy a new bed and furniture for my room
I was thinking before that maybe this would be a bad idea, but now...not so much.

Number 5: Hang out with Cheryll and Jenn
I'm surprised that they still want to hang out with me even though I've been incredibly flaky...since I've moved back.

Number 6: Buy a generic remote for my TV
Sometimes it's nice to be able to change the channels from the comfort of your bed.

Number 7: Do something nice for Byron
He is very spoiled.

Number 8: Plan a trip to SD to see my gay boyfriend or somehow get him to come up here
I miss you Miah!

Victoria Secret Online + Employed Dawn = lots and lots of panties and bras

YAY!

My feet HELLA hurt.
Why you ask? I'll tell you...

I started my new job today! I already have a business trip to Reno next week!

I'm excited because this is so different than what I used to do, but at the same time I can't help but feel overwhelmed. I mean, in a matter of months I'll be running my own store. Scary. But I'm the shiznit (or at least I act like I am) so I should be okay.

Thanks Byron for being so supportive even though I know you don't like the fact that I'll be working Saturdays and will be going to Reno next week. I love you baby!

Crazy.

I got a phone call today at approximately 6:30 AM this morning. I have been offered that position that I interviewed for last week.

YIPPEE!

Now I can live the glamorous life...