i hate everyone today
myself included because i've been so emo lately!
the one day i was hoping no one would bother me is the day that EVERYONE wants to bother me!
my cubemate moved to another cube and i can't help but take it personally :(
i brought spam for lunch today, but i'm not feeling it. chances are...i'll eat it anyway.
god...can i just crawl back into bed and start this day over?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
age is more than a number
at least...that is what i'm learning whilest browsing MySpace. now that i'm about 2 months away from having an "outside" baby, it makes me wonder what i'm going to be like as a 20/30 something. you know that trend of MILFs and what not..."i can still party like i used to after kids" mentality...i wonder if that's going to be me. yes, i miss going out. yes, i miss getting drunk (it's been almost a year and a half if you can believe it...damn fertility treatments)...but what kind of example am i setting for my kid? i know, i know...she'll barely remember what she did five minutes ago...but what about when she actually does start remembering? am i gonna be up in the club, drunk off my ass and taking pictures...to be posted on myspace? god, i hope not. i'm an advocate of going out every now and then for a good time...but it just makes a mom-to-be think, you know?
i suppose i should add that these profiles are of kids...yes i said kids...that are younger than me. maybe that has something to do with it? i dunno.
at least...that is what i'm learning whilest browsing MySpace. now that i'm about 2 months away from having an "outside" baby, it makes me wonder what i'm going to be like as a 20/30 something. you know that trend of MILFs and what not..."i can still party like i used to after kids" mentality...i wonder if that's going to be me. yes, i miss going out. yes, i miss getting drunk (it's been almost a year and a half if you can believe it...damn fertility treatments)...but what kind of example am i setting for my kid? i know, i know...she'll barely remember what she did five minutes ago...but what about when she actually does start remembering? am i gonna be up in the club, drunk off my ass and taking pictures...to be posted on myspace? god, i hope not. i'm an advocate of going out every now and then for a good time...but it just makes a mom-to-be think, you know?
i suppose i should add that these profiles are of kids...yes i said kids...that are younger than me. maybe that has something to do with it? i dunno.
Monday, May 19, 2008
burning questions
i've decided that i should get a shirt printed up with the following:
1. I'm feeling fine.
2. I'm due in July.
3. I'm having a girl.
4. Yes, I'm excited.
for the past 3 months, these have been the burning questions that people go out of there way and seek me out to ask. the funny thing about it...is that the same damn people are asking the questions! it's almost like they want me to know they weren't listening the first time LOL
since i spend a good portion of my day at work, i have a whole 'nother set of questions that are being asked:
a. When are you going on maternity leave?
b. What's going to happen when you get back?
my fave answer that i've given so far for question b was "apparently, everything is going to fall apart."
i've decided that i should get a shirt printed up with the following:
1. I'm feeling fine.
2. I'm due in July.
3. I'm having a girl.
4. Yes, I'm excited.
for the past 3 months, these have been the burning questions that people go out of there way and seek me out to ask. the funny thing about it...is that the same damn people are asking the questions! it's almost like they want me to know they weren't listening the first time LOL
since i spend a good portion of my day at work, i have a whole 'nother set of questions that are being asked:
a. When are you going on maternity leave?
b. What's going to happen when you get back?
my fave answer that i've given so far for question b was "apparently, everything is going to fall apart."
Friday, May 02, 2008
hit and run
i was rear ended on Tuesday morning by some dumbfuck as i was getting off the freeway. tried to pull over safely into a nearby, less busy street and the fucker DROVE OFF! my cell phone was dead so i couldn't call the police and i had to go to work to call. by the time i get to work (in less than 2 min), i start panicking about the baby. the receptionist calls the police and dispatch sends over 2 cop cars, a fire truck and an abulance.
they ask me a bunch of questions and transport me to the nearest emergency room via ambulance. once i'm in emergency, i undress and put on one of those backless gowns. Not flattering or comfy LOL i stay there for a max of 10 min to be told by the ER doc that i have a lower back strain and that the baby needs to be monitored in L&D for at least 3 hours. 3 HOURS! holy crap!
i'm wheelchaired up to L&D by an orderly who barely speaks english. he was a very nice man, but left me alone several times. i ended up in one of the birthing rooms where they strapped a fetal heart tone monitor and a contraction monitor on to me. well, baby girl did not like the contraction monitor because she kept kicking it LOL. even though the whole ordeal was a sacary experience, it was nice to listen to her heartbeat for 3 hours.
everything is okay so far...my back is still incredibly sore, but as long as the baby is okay that's all i card about. now i just have to deal with getting my car fixed and the insurance adjusters.
i was rear ended on Tuesday morning by some dumbfuck as i was getting off the freeway. tried to pull over safely into a nearby, less busy street and the fucker DROVE OFF! my cell phone was dead so i couldn't call the police and i had to go to work to call. by the time i get to work (in less than 2 min), i start panicking about the baby. the receptionist calls the police and dispatch sends over 2 cop cars, a fire truck and an abulance.
they ask me a bunch of questions and transport me to the nearest emergency room via ambulance. once i'm in emergency, i undress and put on one of those backless gowns. Not flattering or comfy LOL i stay there for a max of 10 min to be told by the ER doc that i have a lower back strain and that the baby needs to be monitored in L&D for at least 3 hours. 3 HOURS! holy crap!
i'm wheelchaired up to L&D by an orderly who barely speaks english. he was a very nice man, but left me alone several times. i ended up in one of the birthing rooms where they strapped a fetal heart tone monitor and a contraction monitor on to me. well, baby girl did not like the contraction monitor because she kept kicking it LOL. even though the whole ordeal was a sacary experience, it was nice to listen to her heartbeat for 3 hours.
everything is okay so far...my back is still incredibly sore, but as long as the baby is okay that's all i card about. now i just have to deal with getting my car fixed and the insurance adjusters.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
just another day at the lab
lucky me...i got to spend 3 glorious hours at the Stanford labs because i failed my 1 hour glucose test and had to take the 3 hour one. for those not familiar with pregnancy and the numerous blood draws, the purpose of both tests is to measure your tolerance for glucose within a certain amount of time. in my case, the 1 hour test (where i drink this nasty drink that basically tastes like flat orange soda and they draw my blood exactly one hour later) was not what my doc had expected, so i was advised to take the 3 hour. the 3 hour involves one draw for baseline, then drinking an even nastier drink (don't get lemon lime, the orange is much better), waiting one hour, then another draw, then waiting another hour, then another draw, then waiting another hour, then the last draw. if you were following correctly, you will notice that i was poked a grand total of FOUR FLIPPIN' TIMES and my arms resemble that of a heroin user. well...all for the health of the baby right?
the lab is an interesting hangout from 7-10am. people are very nervous and can't even follow normal directions like, "please take a seat in the room to your left." a woman ended up in the room on the right where all the testing supplies are and where they keep the samples...and i could hear her yell to the receptionist, "there are no seats in here!" there was also a baby that had to get their blood drawn...poor thing! but he was such a trooper! he just cried for the prick and that's it. but the funniest and cutest thing i saw...was this eldery couple. it was clear that the husband was forgetful and depended on his wife for everything. their daughter and son in law came with them to take care of all their paperwork because the eldery couple was clearly not in a state to do so. the husband is looking for his glasses, which they had determined were left at home. but this conversation must have happened at least 4 times:
old man: did i come in with my glasses?
wife/daughter/son in law: no you didn't
old man: well, where the hell are they then?
wife/daughter/son in law: they are at home somewhere.
old man: okay.
at least it wasn't as boring as i thought it was going to be. now, i sit and wait for the result.
lucky me...i got to spend 3 glorious hours at the Stanford labs because i failed my 1 hour glucose test and had to take the 3 hour one. for those not familiar with pregnancy and the numerous blood draws, the purpose of both tests is to measure your tolerance for glucose within a certain amount of time. in my case, the 1 hour test (where i drink this nasty drink that basically tastes like flat orange soda and they draw my blood exactly one hour later) was not what my doc had expected, so i was advised to take the 3 hour. the 3 hour involves one draw for baseline, then drinking an even nastier drink (don't get lemon lime, the orange is much better), waiting one hour, then another draw, then waiting another hour, then another draw, then waiting another hour, then the last draw. if you were following correctly, you will notice that i was poked a grand total of FOUR FLIPPIN' TIMES and my arms resemble that of a heroin user. well...all for the health of the baby right?
the lab is an interesting hangout from 7-10am. people are very nervous and can't even follow normal directions like, "please take a seat in the room to your left." a woman ended up in the room on the right where all the testing supplies are and where they keep the samples...and i could hear her yell to the receptionist, "there are no seats in here!" there was also a baby that had to get their blood drawn...poor thing! but he was such a trooper! he just cried for the prick and that's it. but the funniest and cutest thing i saw...was this eldery couple. it was clear that the husband was forgetful and depended on his wife for everything. their daughter and son in law came with them to take care of all their paperwork because the eldery couple was clearly not in a state to do so. the husband is looking for his glasses, which they had determined were left at home. but this conversation must have happened at least 4 times:
old man: did i come in with my glasses?
wife/daughter/son in law: no you didn't
old man: well, where the hell are they then?
wife/daughter/son in law: they are at home somewhere.
old man: okay.
at least it wasn't as boring as i thought it was going to be. now, i sit and wait for the result.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
unsolicited advice
everything i read was true...anyone that is walking erect and has vocal chords feels the need to weigh in on my pregnancy. now, i know that everyone means well...but i'm already made of glass (read: can break at any time), so i don't know if i can last the next 4 months without a) crying hysterically and rocking myself in the corner or b)going off on someone during an inopportune time.
but...i've found that all i can really do is laugh about it...like how i laughed about 2 male coworkers discussing my breast feeding options with me or how i laughed at my "aunt" nuzzling (think eskimo) my TUMMY (hello personal space!). i guess at this point that is all that you can do because, like stretch marks and loose skin after birth, it's inevitable and there is really nothing you can do about it!
everything i read was true...anyone that is walking erect and has vocal chords feels the need to weigh in on my pregnancy. now, i know that everyone means well...but i'm already made of glass (read: can break at any time), so i don't know if i can last the next 4 months without a) crying hysterically and rocking myself in the corner or b)going off on someone during an inopportune time.
but...i've found that all i can really do is laugh about it...like how i laughed about 2 male coworkers discussing my breast feeding options with me or how i laughed at my "aunt" nuzzling (think eskimo) my TUMMY (hello personal space!). i guess at this point that is all that you can do because, like stretch marks and loose skin after birth, it's inevitable and there is really nothing you can do about it!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
the bandwagon
one of my biggest pet peeves is when people start liking something JUST BECAUSE its the "in" thing to do. for example, the Warriors. after their magical playoff run last year, all the sudden folks that didn't even have any interest in sports whatsoever are sporting Baron jerseys and spouting off stats like nobody's business. not that i'm a hard core fan like Byron, but i would definitely enjoy a game when the DunMurphy sisters ruled the floor.
along the same lines, people who try hard to be "down with the struggle" irritate me too. i know someone who claims to be biracial...um, your white. i've met your parents.
on a baby-related note: It's a GIRL!
one of my biggest pet peeves is when people start liking something JUST BECAUSE its the "in" thing to do. for example, the Warriors. after their magical playoff run last year, all the sudden folks that didn't even have any interest in sports whatsoever are sporting Baron jerseys and spouting off stats like nobody's business. not that i'm a hard core fan like Byron, but i would definitely enjoy a game when the DunMurphy sisters ruled the floor.
along the same lines, people who try hard to be "down with the struggle" irritate me too. i know someone who claims to be biracial...um, your white. i've met your parents.
on a baby-related note: It's a GIRL!
Saturday, March 01, 2008
blind goldfish
i finally felt the glorious first movements of my fetus. now, if it's a girl or boy fetus, you'll have to wait 2 more weeks like everyone else LOL but seriously, i've never felt something so amazing! i read in the books that this time is a very selfish time for me in the sense that i only can feel the baby. i was trying to describe to Byron what it felt like and the only thing i could come up with was...blind goldfish bumping around in my uterus. Byron put his hands on my tummy and tried his hardest to feel that too, but it's still to early. he told me that he was jealous because he wants to bond with the baby. i felt horrible, but he'll feel he/she in good time. i can't wait until he does!
in other thoughts, it's kind of crazy how one blessed event can completely change (or not change) someone's perspective on life.
i finally felt the glorious first movements of my fetus. now, if it's a girl or boy fetus, you'll have to wait 2 more weeks like everyone else LOL but seriously, i've never felt something so amazing! i read in the books that this time is a very selfish time for me in the sense that i only can feel the baby. i was trying to describe to Byron what it felt like and the only thing i could come up with was...blind goldfish bumping around in my uterus. Byron put his hands on my tummy and tried his hardest to feel that too, but it's still to early. he told me that he was jealous because he wants to bond with the baby. i felt horrible, but he'll feel he/she in good time. i can't wait until he does!
in other thoughts, it's kind of crazy how one blessed event can completely change (or not change) someone's perspective on life.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
first trimester = done
well...to be fair, it was done about 2 weeks ago officially. baby is doing well and now all we are waiting for is our "big ultrasound" on March 14. we get to find out if we are on Team Penis or Team Vagina. oddly enough, there hasn't been an overwhelming response of what we are having. 50% of family and friends say boy...the other 50% say girl. i've been having dreams about the baby, but dressed in green or yellow clothing and the baby is about 6 months old.
how much do you want to bet we won't even be able to find out what we are having come the 14th? LOL
well...to be fair, it was done about 2 weeks ago officially. baby is doing well and now all we are waiting for is our "big ultrasound" on March 14. we get to find out if we are on Team Penis or Team Vagina. oddly enough, there hasn't been an overwhelming response of what we are having. 50% of family and friends say boy...the other 50% say girl. i've been having dreams about the baby, but dressed in green or yellow clothing and the baby is about 6 months old.
how much do you want to bet we won't even be able to find out what we are having come the 14th? LOL
Sunday, January 13, 2008
too. many. decisons.
brain. will. explode.
fuck man, i'm not even through the 1st trimester yet (but i will be in approximately 2 weeks!) and i'm already overwhelmed with what kind of stuff i will need to get for this baby. what kind of crib do we want? what color wood? should the rocker and glider match? should we keep it neutral and look now, or wait until we find out the sex and make it gender specific? so many questions...and no answer readily available :(
well...at least i found an interim cure for my constipation: oatmeal. although i fear that it is making me TOO regular. LOL here's the latest pic of the peanut taken last Thursday:
what a difference 1 month makes!
brain. will. explode.
fuck man, i'm not even through the 1st trimester yet (but i will be in approximately 2 weeks!) and i'm already overwhelmed with what kind of stuff i will need to get for this baby. what kind of crib do we want? what color wood? should the rocker and glider match? should we keep it neutral and look now, or wait until we find out the sex and make it gender specific? so many questions...and no answer readily available :(
well...at least i found an interim cure for my constipation: oatmeal. although i fear that it is making me TOO regular. LOL here's the latest pic of the peanut taken last Thursday:
what a difference 1 month makes!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
eat your veggies!
remember when you were a kid and your parents practically force fed you those microwaved frozen vegetables? i do. i also remember that when my brother was 5, my mom made him stay at the dinner table until he finished. not only did he finish, but he then proceeded to throw his whole meal up. i think he ended up getting a pb&j sandwich. man, talk about your excellent plans. he technically didn't "eat" his veggies and got a pb&j sammich out of it! but then again...i guess that's what happens when you are the youngest and the only boy.
but i digress from my original intent to this posting. even though the books tell you that you are supposed to have at least 5 servings of veggies/fruits a day...my mouth doesn't like it. i blame the fetus. fetus doesn't like veggies. but the fetus likes fruit.
sigh.
remember when you were a kid and your parents practically force fed you those microwaved frozen vegetables? i do. i also remember that when my brother was 5, my mom made him stay at the dinner table until he finished. not only did he finish, but he then proceeded to throw his whole meal up. i think he ended up getting a pb&j sandwich. man, talk about your excellent plans. he technically didn't "eat" his veggies and got a pb&j sammich out of it! but then again...i guess that's what happens when you are the youngest and the only boy.
but i digress from my original intent to this posting. even though the books tell you that you are supposed to have at least 5 servings of veggies/fruits a day...my mouth doesn't like it. i blame the fetus. fetus doesn't like veggies. but the fetus likes fruit.
sigh.
Friday, December 28, 2007
last post of the year
now...this is just me being honest with myself and since i don't feel like working, i supposed i should post one of them recap posts. you know, the ones that sum up your year and what you hope to accomplish in the new year.
well...it definitely has been an eventful year for us, in more ways than one. i think that for next year i just want to be financially secure and to not fuck up at this parenting thing.
now...this is just me being honest with myself and since i don't feel like working, i supposed i should post one of them recap posts. you know, the ones that sum up your year and what you hope to accomplish in the new year.
well...it definitely has been an eventful year for us, in more ways than one. i think that for next year i just want to be financially secure and to not fuck up at this parenting thing.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
8 weeks
Besides the occasional dry heaving, waking up in the middle of the night to go pee (at least 3 times mind you), the bloating, the emotional rollercoster I've been riding...it's kind of hard to believe that there is something living in my abdomen. Maybe because I don't feel any movement and the only real proof that I have that something is there is the picture below, but it's definitely surreal.
I think it's also because we have been waiting and praying about this for so long...and now that the day has finally arrived, we don't know what to do with ourselves. I'm going to enjoy this for what it is...even though I've already gone up a cup size and can't sleep on my stomach anymore. LOL
Ahh...the price you pay...
Besides the occasional dry heaving, waking up in the middle of the night to go pee (at least 3 times mind you), the bloating, the emotional rollercoster I've been riding...it's kind of hard to believe that there is something living in my abdomen. Maybe because I don't feel any movement and the only real proof that I have that something is there is the picture below, but it's definitely surreal.
I think it's also because we have been waiting and praying about this for so long...and now that the day has finally arrived, we don't know what to do with ourselves. I'm going to enjoy this for what it is...even though I've already gone up a cup size and can't sleep on my stomach anymore. LOL
Ahh...the price you pay...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
work it out
The main thing that I enjoy about my job is the people. My coworker and I have decided to get pimp cups. Mine will be pimped out with pink sapphires and his will be all white diamonds to match his all white suit with a mandarin collar and "Godfather" hat.
As Kanye would say, "Welcome to the good life."
The main thing that I enjoy about my job is the people. My coworker and I have decided to get pimp cups. Mine will be pimped out with pink sapphires and his will be all white diamonds to match his all white suit with a mandarin collar and "Godfather" hat.
As Kanye would say, "Welcome to the good life."
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