sweet jeebus

less than 1 month to my due date! what the fuck happened to these past 9 months? they just blazed by.

did i really say that?

with temps reaching the triple digits yesterday and living in the geographical armpit of Northern California, byron decided that it was a good idea for us to go upstairs to our room (the coolest room in the house), strip down to our underwear and take a nap. now, as big of a nap advocate as i am (love 'em), i know that 8:30 pm is not appropriate "nap time." so instead we just laid in bed and i tried to keep him awake, so he could later go downstairs and clean up ant carcasses (we had our first major attack in like 3 years).

while lying in bed, i uttered those words that i always heard from pregnant women and never thought i would say outloud:

"i am so done and ready to have this baby"

we both gasped in disbelief...byron said, "oh no babe! you're there already?" and then proceeded to make a deal with the baby to come well after the 4th of July holiday.

sigh.

it's going to be a long 5 weeks.

ch-ch-changes

for the 5 people reading my blog, notice anything different?

that's right! i don't have my anniversary ticker anymore LOL jk

had to change my template because one of my stalkers wanted to be able to see my updates in Google Reader. good thing i've known her for 23 years and i actually like her...hehehe.

lately i've been getting scared that i will actually give birth to a boy and not to a girl. even though we stared at her goodies for a good 5 minutes while the u/s tech showed us what they look for in girl parts, i'm still a bit freaked. so freaked, that i'm actually considering those 3d/4d u/s that i'm against just to see her va-jay-jay. not that having a boy would be a bad thing, but i would just have a shitload of clothes to return LOL

popular

between byron and i, we get invited to hella shit. we are popular (yes, i know it sounds conceited...oh well LOL). i don't think that we have a free weekend until July 19. and even then the baby could come! woo...that's scary when you think about it.

in other news, i got a call for another wedding gig (thanks Rizzi!). very exciting. i thought for sure my "business" would have gone down the tubes since getting pregnant. not that i'm resentful of being pregnant, but it's definitely something i like doing and i think i'm good at it. the girl i talked to on the phone sounds so sweet and thankfully byron will be helping me! now if i could only guarantee that i won't miss my baby...

the countdown begins

people have stopped asking how far along i am and have started asking how much longer i have. geez. the time to push my child through my loins is fast approaching. at the end of this month (according to the baby books i'm reading), the baby will be between 5-6 pounds and 16-18 inches. whoa. doesn't the human head weigh that much? or wait (trying to remember lines from Jerry Maguire) is it 8 pounds? either way, i'm still in awe about the magic and miracle of life. i'm going to miss feeling (and watching) her move around in my belly, but that's it...you can take everything back, including the stretch marks and crotch pain LOL no, it wasn't that bad...definitely something i'd do again, just not immediately after like Byron had hoped LOL

um...what was i saying?

some funny things have happened to me lately...and unfortunately, my blogging audience will never hear about it because I FREAKIN' FORGET EVERYTHING as soon as i sit down to blog. WTH? i've also noticed that i've started to talk non-sensically...and making up words while i'm at it (see non-sensically).

a couple more lovely tidbits for those thinking about becoming mothers the old fashion way:
1. never let a hungry pregnant woman with a craving for BBQ go to the grocery. she will come back with Montreal seasoning and 2 bottles of Honey Garlic BBQ sauce for her boneless short ribs and 2 bags of BBQ flavored Wavy Lays.
2. never let a pregnant woman wash a sink full of dishes because at some point she will have to sit down and rest from standing (how fuckin' sad is that).
3. never let a pregnant woman watch "House Hunters" on HGTV because if the person on the show picks the house that she wouldn't have picked...9 times out of 10 whe will yell at the TV.
4. never let a pregnant woman watch "So You Think You Can Dance" because she will relive her glory dancing days and remember how skinny she was back then. 11 times out of 10, she will cry about it and say repeatedly, "i'm such a fucking cow!"

on a totally unrelated note...congrats to Ralph and Abby on their upcoming nupituals!