like we always do at this time

okay...maybe not always, but a good portion of my blogging is done at night. i really should be sleeping right now, but my mind won't let me for some reason. i guess i just have a lot on my mind lately like going back to work in 3 days, vegas in 4 months, san diego in 6 months, losing as much weight as possible before vegas/san diego, etc. i'll get through it somehow...it just sucks. i'm all sad and shit. so much to do, so little desire to do it...heh.

as a parent, this postsecret post scares the everloving crap out of me for obvious reasons:

mini-me

haven't shared pics in a while...

i call this one her "kawawa" pose:



oh...to be back here again...

ain't that the fuckin' truth

"Expectation leads to disappointment."

i don't remember where or from who i heard that from or even if i quoted it correctly, but gaddammit is that not hella dead on.

it also probably explains all the weirdo dreams i've been having lately too =/

too many thoughts, not enough brain

this week is the last full week i'll be spending at home with Hannah on maternity leave :( i'm having quite a bit of anxiety about it and trying to take it day-by-day as suggested to me by my loving husband. not that going back to work will be horrible or anything (i LOVE my coworkers and boss) other than coming back to the tip of the iceberg known as "holiday season." maybe i'm dreading going back because i had hoped and prayed for her for so long and don't want to leave her...or because i just don't like the idea of working...or all those pregnancy hormones haven't quite exited my body. whatever the reason, it blows. my income is greatly needed, so i have no choice but to be a working mom.

i'm also going back and forth on stopping breastfeeding...mostly for selfish reasons, but then again i hear that some moms continue to breastfeed until their child can physically lift up their shirt and help themselves, which i believe to be selfish as well as there are other less controversial ways of bonding with your 7 year old child. today, i'm okay with continuing...but ask me a few weeks ago when i basically had her attached to my nipple and i was definitely singing another tune LOL

please go to sleep

on the advice that i've read in my "what to expect in the first year" book, i'm trying to put hannah down for her nap, not when she's dead asleep, but when she's fairly drowsy and on her way to sleep. i'm sitting here at the computer trying to get some work done and i can hear her cooing and whining. *sigh* i keep telling myself that i need to let her figure out how to fall asleep when she's tired. she does this great at night, but not so much in the day time. i'm tempted to walk over to her room and check on her.

on a sort of related note...today marks 6 years of Byron and Dawn!

where does the time go?

can you believe it's September already? more importantly, my birthday is 13 days away...do you know what kind of present you're going to get me? LOL

hannah and i are actually taking a trip for my birthday week...we're going to Hawaii! my mom had originally asked to take hannah in May, to which byron and i both said absolutely not! my mom then asked if i wanted to go for our birthdays and that she was paying...so who can say no to that? well, byron did because he didn't want to be away from his baby for a week. so, he'll be joining us friday to monday of that week so that we can have our first family vacay.

1 more week 'til paradise!