"Sometimes you just have to let it go...
Let it go, let it go...
Leaving all my fears to burn down...
Push them all away so I can move on...
Closer to my dreams..."

I wish that all my insecurities would just go away. I realized today that there are so many times when I am so much talk and that I don't practice what I preach. Geez...how do you kow when to change? Why am I so concerned with being perfect? Why can't I just accept the fact that shit happens, nobody is perfect (especially me) and that I can't truly live my life to the fullest if I am tiptoeing around everything?

I'm tired...tomorrow's a new day.

Do you ever have that weird feeling in your stomach, like you know what will make you feel better but unfortantely it is not there at the moment? Or how about that feeling when you listen to your parents yell at you at length about something you were totally wrong about and all you can think about is how your going to make it up to them? How about that feeling that you just don't belong where you are and that you are counting down the days when you can just up and leave? What about feeling like you just want to sit there and do nothing? Or how about that feeling that you get when your boyfriend talks about something he did with his ex and regardless of the fact that you know in your heart that you have nothing to worry about and that he's yours forever, you can't help but still feel a little uncomfortable with a slight bit of jealousy?

I hope this is a good day.

It is so nice to have 4 days off in a row. I think that I should do this more often. Well, not too often. I'm finally getting used to this working thing now.

I don't know why I've been acting like I'm going to wake up one morning and everything will be gone...and then wondering why everyone else doesn't act the same way. I wish that I would just be happy with what I have...not that I'm not because I truly am...and just allowing whatever to happen...happen. As much as I would like to control everything, I must realize first that it you can't control life period. I keep saying that everything happens for a reason and up until now it's still so true.

I remember having a conversation with my friend Phillip. We were talking about the difference between guys and girls' approaches to relationships. He said that for girls, it's the right person and for guys it's the right time. I think that if you meet the right person at the right time, then you are one of the lucky ones. But for the most part, timing is everything.

I'M ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES. :)

Lately, I've gotten on this whole "how do you know?" tip with Byron. I've never found someone like him. He truly is "something else." I guess I just need to be reassured a lot of the time. I'm scared that this will go so totally wrong and I wouldn't know what to do if it all fell apart. He seems to get upset when I do stuff like that, but it's just me, you know? How does he know and why isn't he trippin'? But I guess it's pretty much set now...they close escrow on August 28...move in weekend is the weekend of the 29th...we already spent like $3200 on our bedroom and family room...and everytime we go to any store we're always looking for stuff for the house.

"We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with...
and I wish that you could be the one I die with...
and I'm praying you're the one I build my home with...

...I hope I love you all my life."

-Daniel Bedingfield, "If You're Not The One"

"The remedy is the experience...it is a dangerous liason...I says the comedy that is serious...Which is a strange enough nw play on words...I said the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your life with the light on...So shine the light on all of your friends...When it all amounts to nothing in the end...I won't worry my life away..." -Jason Mraz, "The Remedy"

I love this song! He's so cute!

I told my parents that I'm moving out.

My parents are pretty understanding people considering that they've had a lot of shit thrown at them for the past 4 years. I didn't think it would kill them that their daughter who has her degree and a stable job was going to move out of the house. They didn't yell. They didn't get angry. They didn't even go into how our family looks to other people. All they care about is that Byron and I understand that this is a big step and we should be committed to each other.

I was trippin' for nothing.