I have about an hour or so before Byron gets home and we can go to Wal Mart to get some stuff for our Halloween costumes. What are we going to be? Freeways. I even talked my unit at work to come dressed like that tomorrow too...I'm super excited, which just shows how much of a loser I've become.

My friend and fellow Gaucho Alum Jason recently joined the Allstate family. I'm happy because FINALLY I get to be around someone I hung out with in college. Good times, good times.

We now have access to our equity line...and I've paid off both of my credit cards and will soon be paying off my car. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. What's next? I think you guys can guess...

random thought: sexual harrassment is for ugly people.

I went to SB this weekend...and as always, it was fucking good ass times.

And then I found myself crying on my couch last night, holding onto Byron for dear life.

Fun times, sure...but at what cost?

Unlike me, Byron will never experience this. It's like re-living a period in your life when you know that you were truly happy. When everyone you loved was within a 1 mile radius from you, when you laughed so hard that your stomach muscles actually cramped, when you always knew the right thing to say and even when you didn't, people believed you anway...

Not that being here with Byron or living on my own sucks or anything, but it's just a different kind of happiness. It sucks when you know that you have to close that chapter in your life and move on to bigger and better things. But for some people, it's there and accessible...you experience different things and you experience them together. I'm not that fortunate. I depend on blogs to update me on people that I used to see everyday. I see them for one weekend a year and on special occassions. How do you keep the people who meant so much for 4 years close to you like you never left?

Lately, I've been feeling really lonely. It doesn't help that I'm even further away from my family. I just want to know that this will get easier...

I can't fucking believe that it's October already...I'm still living in June!

The weather is getting colder and it's gonna start to rain soon...and that means it's going to be buys at work. I swear...if I've learned ANYTHING over the past 4 months at my job, I've learned that PEOPLE CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE. Geez...how the hell did you get your license people? Ugh...and the people who drive the expensive cars are big time turds too. They hella swear the world revolves around them. The last time I checked the world revolves around the sun and I'm pretty sure that the sun doesn't own a car or have a license for that matter.

Byron and I are getting fat and every so often, his parents are not afraid to point it out. I think back to when I was still in college and how I lost a lot of weight the summer before senior year. It was easy because I hardly ate (you need money to do that!) and I was single. I had a reason to look good...and now that I've landed me a man for the rest of my life...my appearance just isn't as important. But, we're trying...I've been bad and stopped going to the gym. I need to get my motivation to go back again...maybe next week. I need to be more hardcore about this weight loss thing. I know that the holidays are just around the corner...so I gotta do SOMETHING. It would help if my roomie would portion his food too. But I've noticed that I don't snack during the day. I should stop drinking soda and eating candy...ugh, I need to find a new comfort.

This is a rambling post. It's Tuesday night and Byron won't be home for another 4 hours. I get bored easily. I hope I don't snack to pass the time. I've been really tired lately and moody. Maybe I'm pregnant...ha.