I went to SB this weekend...and as always, it was fucking good ass times.

And then I found myself crying on my couch last night, holding onto Byron for dear life.

Fun times, sure...but at what cost?

Unlike me, Byron will never experience this. It's like re-living a period in your life when you know that you were truly happy. When everyone you loved was within a 1 mile radius from you, when you laughed so hard that your stomach muscles actually cramped, when you always knew the right thing to say and even when you didn't, people believed you anway...

Not that being here with Byron or living on my own sucks or anything, but it's just a different kind of happiness. It sucks when you know that you have to close that chapter in your life and move on to bigger and better things. But for some people, it's there and accessible...you experience different things and you experience them together. I'm not that fortunate. I depend on blogs to update me on people that I used to see everyday. I see them for one weekend a year and on special occassions. How do you keep the people who meant so much for 4 years close to you like you never left?

Lately, I've been feeling really lonely. It doesn't help that I'm even further away from my family. I just want to know that this will get easier...