Dear God,

I know I don't ask for much being that I'm not a regular church goer, but as a person of faith I would like to ask one thing of you.

Please kill the bastard that messed up my driver's side fender, almost completely exposing my tire, making my car alarm trip out and putting my poor LUCKY out of comission for at least a week.

I realize that "kill" may be a strong word, so whatever uncomfort you want to bring into that moronic high-schooler's life would be good enough for me. I would also like to be reimbursed for the possible $300-400 in damages.

Please also do something to his stupid, loser friend. You know, Byron's neighbor's son. I don't think he deserves to have friends. I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

Thank you for your time and consideration with this matter.

One love,
Dawn