Kids say the darndest things...

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I support the little kids group. What this means is that at my job, the kids have group therapy twice a week and I support the therapist for the little kids. My duty is to help with the behavior modification, but sometimes I get the really funny quotes from here.

"I'm gonna dress up kinda like a homeboy or gangster with a scary mask."

"I can't breathe...I broke my leg!"

"Dude, you've got like the biggest nostrils. I bet you could smell a fart in Afganistan."

(to a black man) "You just wanna see a white boy suffer, don't you?"

This is what's fun about my job :) hehehe...

I've been up since 7:30 AM, which is actually technically 8:30 AM with the daylight savings stuff going on. Isn't it weird how we can easily add and subtract hours in the day? To me, it's almost like we're playing God and tampering with the delicateness of time. We complain all the time that there's never enough...why would we want to confuse ourselves by adding an hour one day, then losing it another day? It's one of the many wonders of the world.

With that, I am now going to share some of my useless knowledge about time:

-Daylight Savings is only found on the US mainland. The reason for adding/subtracting an hour is because farmers need a certain amount of hours of daylight and during the winter, they don't get that many hours (shorter days).

-In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

-A snail can sleep for 3 years.

-A day is technically longer that 24 hours. That's why we have that extra day in a leap year to make up for it.

And now...some more quotes! :)

"She looks kind of Chinese...that's because she is Chinese!"

"To make a long story even longer..."

"Cereal! With milk!"

"I've been slowly digging myself out of the hole I dug myself into."

"Well, with this one...not so much."

"We are all about class, but the pants are butt-less. You know, Christina Aguilera style."

"Did you know that elephants are pregnant for nine years? Nine years! If I was pregnant that long, someone would have to die."

"It's not always about you!"

GO GIANTS!

and...

QUOTABLE QUOTES (complied from the people I come in contact with on a daily basis):

"Life's short, be cocky."

"I had a weird dream last night. I was rolling office chairs down a hill and they were being eaten by coyotes."

"Your mouth shouldn't write checks your butt can't cash."

"Not if I gotta pay for that...times are tough right now."

"Haven't gotten any lately...but like I said, times are tough."

"Lani's being hella generous, but Dawn's crushing dreams over there."

"Hey, it's not my fault if they suck."

"Oh, no you didn't."

"According to my roommate, I apparently threw up in the closet."

"We're going to the World Series! We're going to the World Series!"

"I can't like you Auntie Dawn."

Sister's birthday, lots of food.......yay!

Giants lost 11-10.......boo!

Drove brother home, realized he "forgot" his keys........boo!

Saw Byron twice in one day........yay!

Lots of people at my house today........yay!

Sister and brother-in-law went to see "Beauty and the Beast".........yay for them, boo for me!

Work tomorrow........boo!

All done. More later.

Sorry. No cool entry. Just a song. Hope you like.

"I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and I
Will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight"

-Vanessa Carlton, "Twilight"

I'd like to think that I am a relatively interesting person. You know, the kind of person that people actually like to talk to. Hence...I've complied the "TOP TEN REASONS WHY I AM INTERESTING LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT." Call it conceited, call it self-centered...but please...please don't call it bullshit. (evil laugh).

And away we go:

10. I'm 100x more patient than I ever was in my entire life (for reference, ask my family and closest friends).
9. Been there, done that.
8. I can sing!
7. I can dance!
6. I work with crazy kids (these are my best stories!).
5. I laugh at ANYTHING.
4. I tend to amuse easily.
3. I come off as smarter than I really think I am.
2. I don't talk shit...I just tell it like it is.

And the number 1 reason...(drum roll please)

1. People just like me!

Okay...on a scale of one to ten I had about an 8 day...which is pretty good considering all the shit I've been through. Can you blame me for this? Yay me...and sometimes you...but mostly just me right now. :)

Holy shit.

How good does it feel to talk to someone with whom you were intimate with in the past (i.e. an ex-boyfriend)...and feel absolutely nothing at all?

Damn good.

I know who I'm going to marry and I really don't care who knows. The aformentioned soldifiies it. However, such decisions don't come to me this easily...I don't fall in love that quickly. I've always struggled with the notion of "the one." I thought I found him when I was in high school. He was everything to me....my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. I thought nothing could separate us, even 300 miles when I moved away to Santa Barbara. But that was the demise of our relationship...growing up and growing apart would be at the forefront. Realization and the actual loss of the person who you gave yourself so completely and so unselfishly can truly scar you for any other subsequent relationship. So begins my senior year in college...single, sexy and sweet. I answered to no one but me. Something was always missing though...and I tried to fill it with ftf's, dinners with close guy friends, and a strange on-and-off, long-distance relationship with a guy from a distant past.

Fast forward to today...I'm so happy, so overjoyed. I love you Byron Evangelista!

"All things fall into place, my heart it feels so safe. You are my melody. That's where you take me."

If I had to...I could sum up the night with five simple words:

reunion, laughter, fun, insanity, drunk

I really don't get many opportunities to be like this, so I'm gonna enjoy this while it lasts. It's okay...I've been drinking and that's my excuse. I'm glad I came here to SB. I miss college, but having an income makes up for it...sorta.

More tidbits from this weekend that you may not care to know, but I'm telling you anyway:
-Drinking is cool when done in moderation (tonight or my birthday not applicable)
-Revisiting your college life is SO bittersweet.
-I really can't drink like I used to.
-My lil sis threw up on someone's pillow.
-I walk crooked when drunk.

Time for sleeping now...so, peace see ya later.

It's late...I know. But I'm going to make use of this high speed connection.

I'm now in SB...and I was watching BET's Comic View in Miami or "Caliente." The funniest part of this show isn't the comedians...but these women that are scantilly clad and dancing. It's one of those things that you would say, "you had to be there," but made me realize that they actually get paid to do that. I've always wondered what it would be like to be a video ho. You know, dancing around half naked, being showered with some Crystal, mouthing the words out to the hook as if I sang it...yeah, I truly wonder what it would be like. Notice how there are some video hoes that are in one video, but you recognize from another. Maybe there's a shortage of these hoes since the same ones keep showing up in different videos.

And they say there ain't no jobs out there...it could possibly be a career move for me.

(laughing hysterically)

But seriously...I wish I was with Byron.

Ahh...

Another day. Another dollar. Literally. I get paid a little more than slave wages, especially for all the bullshit I do...but hey, in an economy like this one, I'd be stupid to try and quit. I had no idea that I would be doing something like this with my college degree, but at least I know what I wanna do when I grow up. Did I mention that the kids I work with put the "special" in "special ed?" Oh man...do they ever.

Pet peeve #1: Stupid people
Yeah, I know that sounds like I judge people, but I really don't. I have built up quite a tolerance for different kinds of people...but stupid people by far are the hardest people to be patient with. I'm sure you've met these stupid people that I despise so much. You know, they're the people that leave their turn signals on and go 55mph in the fast lane...or the ones that ask how much something is at the 99 cent store...the ones that talk hella shit and when they get jumped (on more than one occasion) they wonder why...people like that. I'm careful not to call them "retarded." The difference is, retarded people can't help the mental challenge. Stupid people can.

I'm off to Santa Barbara...where the sun shines and the beer flows like water. I will miss my hunny though. I think I'll call him later.