Something that most people don't know about me is that I write poetry. Yes, I write poetry...and songs. I write songs. In fact, I've written and recorded my own song. Believe it! I mean...it wasn't done in a "real" studio...unless singing in my sister's upstairs bathroom while my niece is asleep counts as a real studio...but I do have this on CD. It's weird when a friend that you haven't seen in ages (and when I say ages I mean I haven't seen her since 2 years after we graduated high school...and mind you, I graduated in 1997) says, "Hey, I heard your song and it's HELLA good!" Maybe it is...but I'll never admit that. I think that a problem I have with myself is that I just don't give myself enough credit.

I don't know exactly when that started...the habit of totally criticizing and nitpicking every single thing that I accomplish...but I know that it has plagued me for almost 20 years now. I'm in a constant search to better myself; to be this perfect person that everyone can depend on, the person that will bend over backwards to make sure that your needs are met before hers, the person that can't seem to understand that she needs to take care of herself in order to take care of others, etc. It's funny how I use the word "accomplish," like I know that I completed some thing postive and manage to find the negative in it. For example:

Situation: Dawn has graduated from college.

Normal response: "Congratulations! You must be so proud of yourself and all of your hard work!"
Abnormal response (aka Dawn's repsonse): "God damn it took you long enough...2.8? You could have done better than that! You need to find your ass a job now!"

Bad habits are hard to break...but I'm trying. I swear I am!