My life has undergone some major changes lately. This weekend, I actually realized what those changes were. Some people may call it an epiphany...but I call it a slap in the face. Actually...make that a bitch slap in the face because no amount of warning or learning from others could have braced me for what was to come.

Picture this: a weekend trip to sunny Santa Barbara where you spent the last 5 years of your life making memories with the love of your life (and the dude you're gonna marry). Two worlds met this weekend...the past and the present. I guess I expected the same passion and emotion that I felt for this wonderful place to somehow be carried over to Byron because SB was home to me...for a long time. I did a lot of growing there, so of course I wanted to share this with him. I want to call his reaction indifference, but in reality it was just a trip. Like how I would feel going to Tahoe or Hawaii. No special meaning, just a get-away...a change of pace. I wanted him to feel as deeply for this place as I did, but when he didn't...it hurt.

After much soul-searching (within about 30 minutes time lying in bed), I came to terms with the fact that MY LIFE HAS CHANGED. I'm not the same woman I was a year ago. I'm not Dawn the Chi Delt...Dawn the girl you'd ditch class with to go shopping downtown with or have a cigarette with at the Arbor...Dawn the PCN Urban Queen...Dawn the friend that's always down to party...I'm just Dawn.

It was hard...but no one ever told me it was going to be easy.