confessions of a twenty-something drama queen

I have no work this week and I'm chillin' at my parents' house waiting for the children to get up so I can smother them with kisses and have them open their presents. I got my period this week and I'm feeling super crappy. I balanced my check book and after all my checks clear, I have exactly $4.77 in my account. That is some fucked up shit.

I yearn for a simpler time more often than not. I wish that people around me weren't so fake and transparent. Why do they gotta start shit in the first place? I also read to deeply into things. I have a knack for seeing things that aren't there. I like to play certain scenarios in my head in order to escape reality. I'm scared and excited about "growing up."

all i want for christmas

...is an IPod. I hope you're listening Santa!

life lessons

6 things I learned yesterday:

1. USB Flash Drives are fucking expensive, yet I do think that it's a good idea to invest in one.
2. Byron and I can continue a fight/grudge for at least 2 days before the make up sex.
3. If you look hard enough, there are some phat deals at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
4. There's always someone, somewhere that knows my fucking husband.
5. I always thought that I couldn't flip my eyelids inside out, but I did yesterday...and let me tell you, it hurt like hell.
6. I get excited with the thought of baking something from scratch.

dirty laundry

So...shoot me because I haven't updated lately. You can always check my xanga or just email me! My life has been pretty busy lately! With the Holidays soon approaching, getting all this new furniture and starting a new job, I've been very reflective lately. I think about all the stuff that I've done in the past, some fairly scandalous and others the complete opposite, I'd write a book like Nicole Richie. But I wouldn't say that it was "loosely based" on my own life, it would straight up be my life.

I've been thinking about how short life is and how much I can share with the world. I'd hate for my kids or the people I love to make the same mistakes that I did, but I know that my good intentions aren't enough. I feel like if I can make some positive impact by being candid and unrestrained, people could really use that for their own personal growth and acheivement.

I'm just as crazy, smart, and funny as everyone else. Why should I have anything to hide?

deck the halls

Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra...Ra Ra Ra Ra...(I love that movie)

Only 24 shopping days 'til we celebrate the birth of my man Jesus Christ. So many people, so little time. First we must compile a list of the lil munchkins in our lives:

Taryn
Royce
Alyssa
Jonah
Rianna
Kalia
Alexa
Jamie
Joey
Christian
Michael
Lester
Marvin

Holy Mothers that had these kids...13?!?! Man...I want to have a kid just to offset these gifts. But I must remember that it's the spirit of giving this season...ugh. Who else?

Moms & Dads
Zen
Ben
Jimbo
Ralph
Jun

I know there's more...FUUUUCKKKK.

whoa, whoa, whoa

I learned that today in training as a way to "overcome an objection."

I also learned that when Filipino people say that they are from the Fresno area, they're really from Lemoore and there is a good chance that they know Byron's cousins.

Byron said that he was going to buy me a Derek Fisher Warriors jersey...that's my bitch! And my fave # too!

Jason Mraz is my other husband. My new favorite song is "Wordplay."

Missing In Action

It's been awhile since I've blogged.

That's what happens when you get married and go on vacation for 3 weeks.

I thought that I wouldn't be on here very often anymore seeing as how I started a new job today and don't get as much QT with the internet as I did in my previous job...but now that my husband and I are proud owners of a Mac Mini, my blogging times have changed from the day shift to the evening shift.

People always be talking about a hiatus...but I get bored too easily and internet stalking is fun.

we're in the money

I GOT THE JOB!!!!



...now how do I break it to my boss?

bewbies

dancing banana

Say hello to my dancing bananas...



...good job guys.

the waiting game

I hate this game. Ironically, I play it a lot.

2 weeks ago, I had a 2nd interview. 1 week ago, I followed up and was told that my background check was still in the works. Today, I'm just waiting. Boo.

4 stupid things that Dawn did today:
1. Passed the on ramp to go to work because she thought it was closed, but wasn't.
2. Spilled coffee on her light pink shirt while driving.
3. Kept jean jacket on to cover coffee spot even though it's like 80+ degrees out.
4. Left her car keys in the bathroom.

Back to waiting...

my mom thinks I'm cool

Actually, my mom thinks I'm crazy, but the feeling is mutual.

My mom and I have a very interesting relationship. I can sit and vent to my mom about anything and everything, but it wasn't always like that. She used to be all judgy and shit. She actually still is, but I think that I've learned to just ignore what I don't want to hear. I was at my parent's house on Tuesday and I swear the whole time she was yelling at my dad. I finally had enough of her yelling and said, "Why are you yelling at him? I think he can hear you perfectly fine." Then she said that Royce doesn't like it when she yells at my dad. I'm sure that he doesn't like it either.

The sad thing is, I do the same thing to Byron. At least now I know why.

all about the benjamins

Actually, it's more about the Washingtons and Lincolns...maybe some Jacksons...


I love strippers.

oppression day

I wish I worked at a bank or the post office because then I would have had today off.

Question: Why do people dress up their pets and think that it's cute?

names

I'm bored as hell here at work, so I browse xangas. Who the fuck names their kid Jazzlyn and thinks it's cute?! Doesn't this qualify as child abuse? I'm all for a unique name (I mean, how many DAWN's do y'all really know beside me?), but that name IRKS.

2nd Interview went okay. Cross your fingers people.

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

I sure did. LOL.

Only in my sick, twisted, little world I would actually believe that Byron will ditch his softball game to make me feel better. But I'm smarter than that...there are just some things I can't compete with.

I'm getting sick. Great.

I'm tired of dealing with stupid people. So tired, that I think I'm just not going to act smart anymore. I'll be as dumb as them and that'll really piss them off.

Is it 5 o'clock yet?

please stop this ride

I's like to get off now. Really...like right now. I spent a good part of the morning on worry status because I didn't get an email from my husby. Before you pass judgement and classify me as a psycho bitch, let me explain why these morning emails are important.

Byron and I both work about 45 miles away from our home, which means that we average about an hour and a half on the road every morning. Byron also drives a vehicle that is older than 10 years and has had some trouble with it. Because I'm not officially his wife, I'm not considered next of kin and if something were to happen to him...it would be a while before I'd find out.

After the 50th time trying to call his office phone, he finally answers. I'm relieved and pissed at the same time. There is just entirely too much going on in my life right now and SATURDAY can't come soon enough. If you haven't responded, do it now bitches.

will and grace

I hear it's the last season...would anyone like to confirm? I thought it was supposed to premiere last night...NOPE! Unless it's on a different night and I did not get that memo. The DVDs definitely go on my "must buy" list. I love it because it reminds me of my most favorite homosexual on earth...

I watched that hour long special on Lifetime and I almost peed in my pants from laughing so hard..."Denied...denied...Approved. Good times. I love TV.

I also caught the premiere of "Everybody Hates Chris." My advice to you all: Watch it. Seriously. It's pretty effin' funny. If you are so inclined to continue to watch something else afterward Love, Inc. ain't that bad either. It's one of those guilty pleasure shows.

soy un perdador

I guess the correct way in Spanish should be the feminine way (seeing as how I am a woman, at least, last time I checked I was). So...soy una perdadora whatever, I'm still a loser because I spend my time on the internet surfing and looking at things that more or less make me stupider than when I was puffin' the cheeba back in the day. Snooch.

After being acosted several times by a friend's man at Byron's weekly softball game, I learned some disturbing news about my dear ex. Before I delve in, I'd like to say that my ex and I have a very good relationship, no hard feelings and he is invited to our wedding. In fact, I got his RSVP for him and is current GF (also my friend) which is more than I can say about SOME people...but whatevs...that's not the flavor right now. Anywho, I come to find out that he doesn't have very many fans and by his behavior was looking to get an ass-whoopin' by none other than...one of Byron's softball teammates.

I can see how he could rub people the wrong way and be a jerk, but I guess this was something that I didn't need to know about him. Not that it'll change our relationship in anyway...but it just kinda sucks to know that someone you loved (and actually still do, but in that friend way) wasn't all that they had seemed.

dyslexia

As brilliant as I may seem, I think that I have may have a mild case of dyslexia.

I smashed my finger in the garage door.
Me: "Oh my, my finger is turning purple."
Ralph: "What happened?"
Me: "I just smashed my finger in the door."
Ralph: "Dude, are you that drunk?"
Me: "Apparently..."

Clearly, I should not be opening and closing doors after a couple of glasses of wine.

26 candles

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Thank you all for the birthday love!

scary

Brit and Kev welcome baby boy.

God help us all.

hair today, gone tomorrow

I don't know if it's stress or weather related, but my hair is falling out.

I'm hoping that it's a combination of both and that it ends in the near future because I'd like to have some hair left for the wedding. So to counter, I've been drinking 2 glasses of milk a day AND taking a multi-vitamin. I'm not taking any chances.

weekend update

I just realized that the next 3 weekends (or Saturdays at least) are booked. Man...I don't have time for anything it seems! This weeked was especially eventful, with both mom's birthdays, a night at Saddle Rack and engagement photos!

Saturday: San Jose for Mom Evangelista's birthday. It was more like just eating lunch with her because she had to get ready for those dinner/dances they always go to! Walked around Eastridge mall to see the renovations and was kind of impressed! Headed over to Fremont for line dancing and mechanical bull action...nice.

Sunday: Union City for Mom Soria's birthday. Saw my brother (who I hardly ever see) and the kiddies which is always a good time. My cousin and his kids came by but only as wee were leaving so I was kinda bummed about that. Engagement pics taken at MH and I had a smashing good time! I can't wait to see them!

*sigh* Back to work...

hair did

I have an appointment for some highlights and a cut in about 3 hours. Whoopie! I'm so not feeling work at the moment, although I know that there are some things that I need to do. I was so busy over the past couple of days that I think this is my brains way of telling me "Enough Already!"

Or maybe I'm just a lazy person. I've always suspected that.

This hair appointment couldn't have come at a better time because I'm having a craptacular hair day. I must look so whacktified* right now. I'm not sure if I want to cut my bangs again or make them thicker...how risky I'm being with less than 2 months from the big day.

I've had much on my mind lately...not all bad, but not all good. Some wedding related, most non-wedding related. You know that feeling when you're taking a long road trip and you're about 1 hour from your destination? That 1 hour seems like F-O-R-E-V-E-R. That's what I feel like.

If I could only get those voices to quiet down so I can clear my head. jk. They only speak when they are spoken to.

*this word I made up as I was typing. please use it sparingly.

wednesday already?

I just got a message from a customer about one of our agents and they are "unsatisfied" by the claims handling process and want to talk to my boss. It makes me angry. I guess it's because I was in a claims office and know how it goes. You can't force people to talk to you or force the police department to send you a report. People just don't get that...and even if you do tell them, they for some reason think the world revolves around them and that gives them the right to treat people like shit. Customer service my ass...under normal circumstances, are you supposed to take that from a person? I mean, am I really supposed to have someone yell at me, make me feel like I'm about 7 inches tall and take this with a smile? FUCK THAT. You don't know shit about me. I'm like you, tryin' to make a dollar out of 15 cents with this piece of shit job. This whole "the customer is always right" is straight bullshit...yet I manage to get into jobs where I have to have some sort of expertise on this. Ugh.

Luckily, I'm not in claimsland anymore. I used to think that I wanted to be an insurance agent, but if I gotta deal with people like that on a daily basis...no thanks. The plan is to still get my insurance licenses before the end of 2006 so at least I have that to fall back on...I'm starting to also consider getting licensed in event coordination. Who knows...the possibilities are endless.

2 months!

Holy Mother of Crap...September is finally here! 9 days 'til my birthday!

Went to 2 weddings in the same day on Saturday...and could they be any farther away from each other? MAN! Drove to SF for to see Mr & Mrs Bustos amke it legal under God's eyes, then hauled ass to Modesto for C-lo & Steph's reception. Both events were like UCSB KP reunions...it was awesome.

Some highlights from Jenn's wedding: Jenn's BEAUTIFUL dress (it was worth all the drama, she looked GORGEOUS), CherILL's hair (couldn't really picture it any other way), bums in the church (homeless people can enjoy weddings too), CherILL handing Jenn some pills to pop after the ceremony (Byron said, "Dang, getting the party started already?"), seeing my girls all pretty...I wish there was 2 of me and Byron so we could have gone to both receptions...

Some highlights from C-Lo's wedding: Open bar & 2 bottles of wine at the table (hell fucking yeah), Seeing old bandmates (go C4S), seeing Miss Kini and E-Fresh , dancing w/ Babe and the kiddies, Money dance w/ C-Lo (and the Filipino mafia aka KP Joe & Gabe "escorting" me away after 10 seconds of dancing...WTF?). Just drunk stupid retardedness the whole night leading to me face down and passed out next to my niece (such a good example I am) and a mild case of alcohol poisoning the next day...good times.

"YES! FINALLY...CSUH is outnumbered by UCSB!"

4 day weekend

Today is my Friday...HAHA bitches! I get 4 days off! I heard a funny joke today on the radio, stop reading if you've heard this one...

Two guys were drinking at a bar on the top floor of a hotel. One decides to challenge the other to jump out the window because drunk guys are stupid like that. Anyway, the first guy says to the second guy, "Dude, I dare you to jump." The second guy, who is clearly smarter than the first says, "No way man...we're on the top floor!" The first guy is insistant, "Check it out...it's super windy, so if you jump out, then the wind will just blow you back in." Still skeptical, the second guy declines. The first guy says, "Look, I'll do it and you'll see."

The first guy jumps out the window and low and behold comes right back in. "See?" he says. With a sudden surge of confidence, the second guy puts his drink down, steps back for a running start, then proceeds to swan dive and plunge to his death. The first guy picks up the second guy's drink and walks back to the bar.

The bartender says to the first guy, "Superman, you're such a fucking jerk when you're drunk."

Only 15 shopping days 'til my birthday!

customer service my ass

Reason #12658 why Dawn has it in for old people:

They are the rudest, most self righteous people in the world.

Now, I'm not talking about those cute little 80-90 year olds (like my Grandma) that you just want to fold up and put in your pocket...I'm talking about those 70 somethings, who are for whatever goddamn reason are still working, still driving there "luxury" vehicles around and going about 45 in the fast lane. Yeah, I'm talkin' about those folks. They clearly are out of their head and still in the 60 something mindset. What fools. I'm so glad I hung up on one of them today. In claims, I would have to take it...but not here. Yeah, baby.

yum

I heart Jalapeno Kettle Chips.

don't be jelly

I've learned my lesson about putting people on blast. And I mean that in the nicest, most appreciative way possible. For real. I'm nervous and anxious when confronted by those things, but after the fact I really feel good and accomplished.

So for those who have been following on my xanga and here (I think I mention it here, if not check out the xanga for the details), some new developments: "Byron and I are 'weird'". WTF. Because we're living together? Because we talk and engage with each other? Because he's not afraid to kiss and hug me in public? Because we have a healthy realtionship? If it's because of all those things...then yes, we are weird. SUPER FRICKIN' WEIRD.

i am lame

"You can sleep in the grandmas' room."
"Eww...but it smells like...like..."
"Old people?"
"Smelling kisses."

hopping mad

"Hopping mad" is such a weird term. When I think of "hopping," I think of bunnies and aren't they usually happy? It's almost like an oxymoron.

Anyway...2 things made me hopping mad last night. One was justified and the other was not. haha. About a week ago, there was a family that was killed on I-5 because some stupid ass drunk driver was going the wrong way. The family wasn't even from here, they were from the East coast. Can you imagine? Your vacationing somewhere and you fucking die. It made me think of all the idiot drivers on the road and I was livid. How dare they make such a decision to wrecklessly drive and take away a young family's life? Ugh...it makes me sick to my stomach just to think about it.

As for the other thing, Byron and I had a yelling match over ceremony readings. In comparison to the other thing, it was pretty stupid.

ghetto

It must be bad if you're pulling some MacGyver shit that you used to do in college.

I hate fake ass breezies who are nice to your face and then turn around and run their mouth every chance they get. They're trendy asses walk around like their shit don't stink and that everyone loves them.

You'll get yours bitch. Just because we're almost family doesn't mean I won't take off my earrings and put on some Vaseline to give you a good old fashion beating. Okay...some of that wasn't true...I don't wear earrings.

entertain me

My boss is out of the office once again until Friday. I printed out what needed to be printed in terms of the wedding (labels for remaining favors, sheet for unity candle), browsed all sorts of different websites, ate lunch, helped some agents, made phone calls & emails. It's is almost 3 o'clock and I am bored out of my goddamn mind.

I should just leave early.

drat!

It's a shame to waste a perfectly good hair and makeup day to go to work where the only people that really see you are your boss and a few agents.

I hate being a girl right now because I'm all moody and shit this week. Woo hoo.

Kiddies

We get the kids tonight...woohoo! When I was at my dress fitting yesterday, Taryn kept saying, "Don't forget I am going to your house tomorrow!" and the Roycee would say, "Yes, house a'morrow." Hecka cute. I get to babysit them on the the Friday before Labor day weekend...I need to tell my boss I want it off.

My sister asked Byron to take a day off to babysit between the time she goes back to school (she's a teacher) and the time my grandmas come back from Canada. I know Byron pretty well and part of him wants to do it, while the rest of him is scared out of his mind. He scared because he doesn't know what to do with them. What if one of them chokes? What do I do? Not the avid problem-solver and it's hard for him to step outside his comfort zone. When he's around them, I'm there to take care of everything. I asked him if he'll still be scared when we have kids. He said he had 9 months to learn everything there is to know about babies. Did I mention that he doesn't hold newborns either? I see his point, but I can't force him to do it. My sister's gonna be disappointed...

comments

Found this in my comments:

Anonymous said... http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=aivster&tab=weblogs&uid=324006501 Please Read!!!

People will say what they want. I can't change what's being said about me and I have already taken responsibility for my actions. I've been in contact with the other party involved and I thought it was resolved amicably. Whoever left this comment, if you're intentions were positive, thanks for looking out...if the intentions were negative, I am aware of what's going on. Leave it alone, I've put it out of my mind since then.

I hate having to put a disclaimer on everything...but I'm not trying to generate more shit talking by posting this. I just want to let my folks know that I'm over it. It's over...it's done with...let's move on.

yes!

Looks like Class of '97 is actually going to be hanging out next week. Finally! Geez...who knew that it would take a month to get 7 busy ass people together? I'm really looking forward to it. I guess we just need to make a decision on where to meet...and then all the skeletons come out of the closet! Well...at least what can come out over the course of a few hours, but y'all know what I mean!

Poor babe can't go to his 10 year reunion because we'll be on our honeymoon then. Kawawa. Why didn't the committee have it in the summer? Oh well...we can go to mine in 2 years. HAHAHA.

there should be a law

That bans old people from certain things. No, I'm serious. I know that this sounds ageist, but whatever...not a day goes by, not a day...where I don't have to deal with the hijinks of some old person. Usually, I'm on the road when it happens, but today it was in the supermarket.

I'm waiting in line at the express cashier and it clearly states "10 items or less." There was an old woman in front of me with like 50 bajillion things in her cart. The cashier says to her, "Ma'am, this aisle is for 10 items or less." She replies by saying that she cannot see the sign. He lets her through, but then she also says, "If anyone is in a hurry, that's too damn bad." I kid you not. This bitch has the audacity to say this in front of a line of 3 that's forming behind her when the cashier was kind enough to let her through the line. At least she wasn't paying with a check because then Dawn would have to choke a bitch. And what makes me the most angry about this situation is that this bitch had a younger friend with her! Why the fuck didn't your friend tell you to go to another line?

So lame.

Part III

Quotable quotes...

"Hey bitch, where the fuck is my ice cream?"

"Look at her with her wussy little wine glass...Imma take a picture!"

"We're going to Forever XXI"

"You can't eat nuts...but you like balls right?"

"Can't finish your champagne? Just give it to Katherine."

"Can I touch your boob?"

"I'm constipated and I'll try anything at this point."

"Are you ordering dessert?"
"Nah...I'll just eat the free one."

"I don't wanna tell them because they're gonna be all judgy and shit."

"I'm gonna call her and tell her that they're hotter in person."

"She said upstairs...but not exactly how far upstairs."

i've been dreaming about you



Louis Vuitton Murakami Wristlet...made famous by Jessica Simpson.

dorks

My bro-in-laws fucking crack me up.

Me: Hey Ralph, where's my brother at?
Ralph: In the bathroom, practicing his dance moves.

Jun: What kind of limo are we getting?
Me: Stretch Navigator.
Jun: Aw man...I only wanted to ride in a Hummer. I'll tell Byron to change it.

This in addition to wearing CHiPs sunglasses courtesy of PGA, wanting to order everything on the left side at Chili's, getting freak nasty in front of the camera, and rolling down a grassy hill like 5-year-olds.

Becoming an Evangelista is looking pretty sweet.

insults and compliments

By virtue of being a Sociologist or more specifically being a person with a BA in Sociology, I tend to overanalyze what is being said to (or about) me. I was putting on my shoes today before leaving work and caught my reflection in the car. I thought, "I did my make-up really nice today." Then I thought about something my sister said to me. She told me that I'd make a really good plus size model. It was a compliment in the sense that she thought I was pretty, but it was also an insult because she was saying that I was plus size. My mom did the same thing when looking at Byron's baby pictures yesterday. She said that his baby pics don't look like him and that his baby pics were cute.

I'm highly opinionated and I get that from my mother. In fact, every woman in my family on both parents' sides are highly opinionated. It's good in the sense that we speak our minds, but bad because we can really get ourselves into some sticky situations. I'm not new to people talking shit about me, in fact I know for a fact that much of that is going on right now because of what I've done. It's nothing new to me, in fact I've been in many situations where I found my foot caught in my mouth. I'm a bitch, I'm retarded, I'm insecure, I'm immature, I'm fake, I talk to much, I'm fat, I have too much time on my hands, I can't sing, I'm not all that, I'm stupid, I'm this, I'm that...I'm human. I apologize for that.

i want i want i want

In addition to my pink ipod and powerbook G4...

I want a Louis Vuitton Murakami Bag!

war of the words

Certain events that have transpired over the past 24 hours have led me to truly reflect on my actions. I will openly admit now that I was wrong in the way everything was handled. It was poor decision making on my part and definitely not one of my most mature moments.

With that said, the only person who is deserves an apology for my behavior is Byron. His opinion of me is the only one that truly matters. After explaining the situation and apology, he was so understanding and accepting of that apology. I believe his exact words were, "nothing can make me change my opinion for you babe, at least not something like this." I then realized that the "mature" thing that I should have don was not to find amusement at someone else's expense, but to realize the message behind it.

Byron's a great catch...I'm so happy that I caught him.

softball

Last night, Babe's team won 15-3...or something like that. LOL I do pay attention, but I'm not sure about the accuracy of the score. What a good fiancee I am. Anywho, I'm used to it being just me and Rizzel at the games, but yesterday we had quite a few fans in the stand. Some random quotes from last night:

"C'mon Byron...HIT THAT!"
"Yeah...HIT THAT!"

"How much would you pay for Byron's balls?"
"Um...nothing. I'll get 'em for free."

"What do you call it when they run around the bases like that?"
"Uh...a homerun."

"Don't eat that off the ground. We're not bums."
"Not yet anyway."

from a guy: "He won't let me kiss him."

"He's fast because he's low to the ground."

Fun stuff. My sister hella dissed me yesterday for an A's game. Too bad they lost.

you're right

I guess I do have too much time on my hands...and I am a bitch.

I consider that a compliment...what I find funny is what we are now in comparison to how we were.

Thanks for noticing! I guess we both know now that we read each other's shit.

found

Because I'm bored out of my mind sometimes, this is what you can find from searching your fiance's name on the internet...an ode from an ex-girlfriend.

Let's all have a good laugh.

must keep energy up

I need to go to 7-11 and get a mint mocha frap, not only because I think they are absolutely delicious, but because if I don't, I may not make it through Babe's softball game...

Whack!

fortune cookie

Got some Mongolian Beef from the local chinese restaurant and now I'm enjoying my fortune cookie. It reads:

"No one conquers who doesn't fight"

How profound. So after enjoying this cookie, I'm left to ponder this fortune. I come to the conclusion that it means something along the lines of, if you don't fight no one can beat you. If you don't cause conflict, there is no conflict. If I chose to whore around, I suffer the consequences...nobody else, just me. If I decide to let other people determine my worth, then I'm doomed to internalize everything they say because I don't have the strength or courage to believe in myself. I believe all our decisions are conscious on some level. I don't buy that bullshit of "sub-conscious" or "instinct." NO. We are human beings with the ability to function on a different plain of existance as all the other mammals in this world. I have a tough time with people blaming others for their misfortunes and tribulations. Grow the fuck up, get over yourself and let the healing process begin.

How profound, indeed.

driving

I used to be a claims adjuster and spend about 3+ hours in my vehicle everyday, so all in all, I think I'm a pretty good driver. Unfortunately, I work in a city where there are a plethora of old people and impatient rich people on the road. I use my horn way more than I ever had in my entire life driving. Yesterday, 2 people almost hit me coming out of driveways and 1 today.

Annoying. SO ANNOYING.

What's people's hurry anyway? Are you really in a hurry to get to work? I know I'm not. It's bad because I have that mentality of "I'll get there when I get there." I come in before my boss anyway, so is he really going to know if I'm late or not?

I don't think so.

POINT OF THE POST: Driving in Walnut Creek sucks ass. Big stanky cow ass.

psycho

I don't know what made me think of this, but I had an ex-boyfriend who was, for lack of a better word, psycho. I'm talking crazy here people. He was in a gang and a mama's boy (funny combination, if you ask me) so in addition to being very physically aggressive, his mom hated be by virtue of being with her favorite son. WTH, right? He would do strange things too...at the time I wouldn't think much of it, but now that I'm reflecting on it...he's fucking crazy yo. First he wanted me to keep the condom (ejaculate and all) in a ziploc bag in my room, kept all the condom wrappers in the middle console of his car and requested a used pad from me. I'm actually gagging as I type this. Who the fuck does this shit? Psychos! He would also verbally abuse me, forbid me from talking to any guys (family excluded), wearing shorts, cutting my hair, wearing make-up...what a fucking stupid ass teenager I was.

Looking back now, I have major trust issues that took me about 10 years to work out (he lied...ALL THE TIME), I couldn't trust a man as far as I could throw him, and used my sexuality as a form of acceptance and belonging. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about how long I endured that...in the name of love. I would sneak out at night, lie to my parents and lost my best friend because of him. Is this normal for a 14 year old? I could have really fucked up my life...

And it's times like this where I'm thankful that I was able to get myself out of that abusive relationship. Although he never hit me, he would push me into stuff or out of his car...it was more mental/emotional abuse than anything. I don't know why I'm writing about this now, but I felt like I had to put it out there...not just to put someone on blast, but because it's theraputic to me. There are just some things that you shouldn't keep in.

goodbye weekend

Good weekend. Not like those marathon weekends where Byron and I have about 16 billion things planned every minute. Got to see family, friends and got a lot of wedding stuff done too!

Highlight:
Saw my uncle (dad's bro), aunt and 3 cousins from the Netherlands.
Lowlight:
My sister, Ben and the kids were in LA.

Highlight:
Free food at the Wyndham for our taste test.
Lowlight:
Mom and Dad were running late. Byron was upset because he didn't think that we wouldn't make it on time.

Highlight:
Won a free $5 Starbucks card at Yvette's baby shower.
Lowlight:
Yvette gave us the card because she felt bad for us, since we really didn't win any of the games.

Highlight:
Got really drunk at Judy's (Byron's coworker) 30th Birthday Partay. Nice ass house too...who would have thought we were in San Lorenzo!
Lowlight:
Trying to sober up real qucik to take someone home...boo. But they ended up calling someone to pick them up.

Highlight:
Byron got hit on by a gay guy who quickly realized that Byron was into girls.
Lowlight:
Wasn't there to witness it since I was "closing my eyes" in a reclining chair in the computer room by the indoor pool.

Highlight:
Finished 30 centerpieces, 50 favor tins and 150 favor tags.
Lowlight:
Took about 6 hours to complete, didn't shower until 10pm.

*sigh* Back to work. I hate Mondays...

spam

No, I'm not talking about the tasty breakfast treat that you've been eating for as long as you can remember. I'm talking about those "nasty" emails you get from people you don't know trying to sell you something or recruit you into doing something.

I send out recruiting emails to people who's resumes I see online. Technically speaking, I'm not "spamming" them because I didn't buy their email addresses from another company's database. I'm an actual person looking at their resume and thinking that they would be a good fit for what I'm recruiting for.

Unfortunately, some don't see it that way. Here's an example of a reply email that I received from a potential candidate:

"Jesus Christ, you guys just keep spamming. It's a good thing I don't have insurance with xxxxxxx, because I'd hate to have to spend time switching insurers. I will add xxxxxxx Insurance to my email filters, and I will call my friend who is a xxxxxxx agent to ask him why his company is actively antagonizing thousands of consumers by spamming them."

He then proceeds to email me another message:

"Oh, and look: you scumbags even use an INVALID CONTACT PHONE NUMBER. FUCK OFF

It probably took him about 10 minutes to eloquently express himself, the time that it would have taken him to follow-up on the job emails that really mattered.

Some people are so quick to pass judgement on how we conduct business around here. What a fucking moron.

search engines

I know everyone has done a search on their own name, names of friends, etc.

This is what I found. Scary! I'm glad it's just a fictional journal though (read the profile).

More babies coming! YES! I guess me and Byron should catch up!

money to burn

Sometimes I wish that I had money to burn. I know many people how are always fitted in expensive clothing, different outfits everyday, make-up like you wouldn't believe, nice cars, always down for some fine dining, electronic toys, etc. But then again a lot of these people still live a home with their parents. And the funny thing about these people is that they actually complain about living at home. Save some money and stop buying crap for yourself!

Even though I can't really afford the fancy things in life (the only bling I got is on my left finger), at least I'm not living with my parents. I don't mean to offend anyone with my sweeping generalization (based on personal experience with such aformentioned folks), I'm sure that there are plenty of people that live with the 'rents, but are trying their damndest to be on their own. What I'm saying is that there are folks out there who don't, nor will they in the near future.

Just my 2 cents...

spoilers

I think that I am one of the few people that haven't seen the last installment of Star Wars. What doesn't help is that my husby-to-be isn't a really avid movie-goer, but these days I'm not really down to spend $10 to watch a movie. I'll wait for it to come out on DVD. My wonderful mother however, decidedly spoiled the movie for me, but it's just one of those things where I already saw the other 5 might as well finish off the series.

I did get to see Wedding Crashers this weekend which was promised by someone to be a "knee-slapping good time." It lived up to that , although I would add shake-back-and-forth-in-your-chair, violently-slap-and-shake-the-person-who-went-with-you-to-see-it, I'll-more-than-likely-buy-the-DVD comedy o' the year. It was definitely $5.25 well spent and I got to spend some QT with my better half. The funniest part was when _______ was ______ while they were ________. Hilare.

I give the movie 4 out of 5 bridezillas.

greatful

Thank you Ms. ocraP for curing my boredom at work!

Three names you go by:
1. Dawn
2. Babe
3. Auntie Dawn

Three screen names you have had:
1. Piglet486
2. KaunaMaile
3. DevAngel

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. Breasts
2. Butt
3. Nose

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. Stomach
2. Square Palms
3. Double chin

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipina
2. Ilocana
3. Uh...yeah.

Three things that scare you:
1. Wasps
2. Big Ass Cockroaches
3. Chuckie Doll

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Brushing teeth
2. Washing face
3. Eating

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Jason Mraz
2. John Mayer
3. Gavin Degraw

Three of your favorite songs:
1. Beautiful Soul (jesse mccartney)
2. You and Me (lifehouse)
3. The Light (common)

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Understanding

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
(lies)
1. Your baby is so cute.
2. I love what you did to this place.
3. I'll call you.
(truths)
1. the sky is blue because it is a reflection of the ocean.
2. lies make baby jesus cry.
3. there's no crying in baseball, but there is steroid use.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Large Hands...and not for the size of their "thing" issue.
2. How a big bear hug can make your troubles go away, even if it's just for a moment.
3. Clean shaven (I hate scruffy, hairy guys)

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Blogging
2. Making crafts
3. Walking outside on a nice night

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Go pee
2. Have lunch by myself
3. Go home and start the weekend already

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Counselor/Advisor
2. Insurance Agent
3. District Retail Manager
*currently not pursuing any of these. HA!

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Tahiti
2. Philippines
3. Europe

Three kids’ names you like:
1. Jenna
2. Brandon
3. Gertrude

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Have kids
2. Get married
3. Take a vacation

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. Kissing girls is nice
2. Watch sports and can speak on it
3. Pee with the door open

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. Super emotional
2. Love "Wedding Story" and "Baby Story"
3. Love the penis. LOVE IT.

Three celeb crushes:
1. Justin Timberlake
2. Matt Damon
3. JT Snow

Now it's your turn! FOUR people that I would like to see take this quiz now:
1. Joy
2. Lani
3. Jackie
4. Miah

wishlist

Will somebody please buy me a pink Ipod?

...and a PowerBook G4 to match?

Thanks!

tagged

01. If you woke up tomorrow morning and you were the opposite gender, what would be the first thing you'd do?
explain myself to Byron because he may freak out.

02. If you could be invisible for a whole day, what would you do?
walk around naked. i've always wanted to do that.

03. If you could completely get rid of one fashion trend that you personally don't like, what would it be?
hmm...i guess i would have to spend more time with fashionable people to answer that.

04. If you could dye your hair ANY color, what color would you choose?
uh...green. definitely.

05. If you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose and why?
jessica alba...or that vanessa minillo (sp?)

06. If you could spend one hour with ANYONE, (alive or dead) who would it be, and why?
my grandpas. i was really young when they both died.

07. If you won a million dollars in the lottery, what would you do with the money?
pay off everything...wedding included.

08. If you could tell one person ANYTHING, what would it be, and who would it be?
a certain SOMEONE i was referring to in my xanga.

09. If you saw your favorite celebrity in the street, what would be your first reaction?
*drool*...*thud*

10. If you could change your first name to anything you wanted, what would you change it to?
too much trouble w/ paperwork and all that shit.

11. What's one feature of your appearance that you absolutely like?
my breasts.

12. If you were told today that you had only a month to live, what would be all the things you would do, or say before you died?
spend every waking moment with my family and Byron. i'd make sure that they all know that i love them very much.

13. If you could change any part of your appearance, what would it be?
my stomach area. why won't you be flat?

14. If you had your own line of cosmetics, what would you call it, and what kind of products would you make?
not creative enough to make something myself...i'll just buy cicely's product.

15. If you had your own line of underwear, how would you design it?
something that won't ever stain.

16. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
the ability to teleport.

17. If you had the choice would you rather be Marilyn Monroe for a day, or Madonna?
neither. MM died at a young age and while i'm a fan of Madonna's music, i'm not a fan of Madonna.

18. Do you believe your dreams have significance?
yeah...my insecurities realized.

19. Total number of films I own on DVD/video:
not enough.

20. The last film I bought:
meet the fockers.

21. Last film I watched at home:
napoleon dynamite.

22. 6 films I watch a lot or mean a lot to me:
all 5 kevin smith movies and jerry maguire.

23. Tag 5 people and have them answer these questions on their blog:
jackie, cheryll, jenn, jeff, miah...tag! you're it!

support our troops

I just found out that a good friend from college will be shipped of to Iraq in less than 2 months.

Please pray for Yul and his safe return.

long hair

This past week's heat has made me want one thing: short hair

While I realize that there are many benefits for long hair, I'm still wanting it short again. While taking a break, it felt like something was crawling on my arm. I looked to see that it was my hair. WTF?

At least it's not long enough to have hair murphs out of the shower.

*Sigh* I need some A/C right now. It doesn't help that I'm totally full from lunch.

PSA

PEOPLE NEED TO STOP USING CRACK.

Seriously folks, it's gettin' out of hand here. While I have come to terms with the fact that there are stupid people out there, crack does not help the cause.

Example #1: Using coins for major purchases.

I'm one of those lucky people who get to stand behind them in line with one item, while they are buying groceries for a family of 20 with a big ass jar of quarters. At least have them pre-rolled to make the transaction go quicker.

Example #2: Asking every question humanly possible about what a food item is made with.

You've just upped your chances of getting your food spit in...and not by the server.

Example #3: "I know I'm not calling the right place, but maybe you could help me."

And maybe hell will freeze over as we watch pigs fly over our heads and monkeys out of my ass.

Hurry up weekend...I'm waiting for your ass!

bornday

Welcome to the world

BABY GIRL RENTAR!

fruit

Who knew strawberries and pineapple would be quite refreshing on a hot summer day such as this one?

It's 4:30pm. I'm SOOOO READY to go home. I could leave early...I had to drop my boss off at the BART station. Hmm...decisions, decisions.

Why can't motivation to work out be the same as motivation to eat ice cream? One of the many wonders of the world...

I still hate it when ugly girls try to act cute. Ugh. What I hate more than that is when ugly girls think they're cute. Hello Cleopatra...Queen of Denial.

rest

I'm tired of being...
...patient
...understanding
...misunderstood
...taken for granted
...lonely
...a good fiancee
...angry
...quiet

...me.

fuck the bullshit

Hanging out with my boys on Saturday made me realize that many of the people I hang out with on a regular basis I met through Byron.

I still feel really lonely a lot of the time and I don't really know why.

me is smart

I'm reading my old posts and my grammar sucks ass. I don't know if it's because I'm typing too fast, I'm not in school and haven't been for the past 4 years, or I'm just not proofreading as well as I should.

Eh...I don't care. It's not like I was an English major anyway.

in memoriam

Rest in Peace

I know I'm hella late, but it's truly the end of an era.

and we're back.

What a busy weekend...I had 4 days off and it still wasn't enough! WTH!

Friday: Worked out, went grocery shopping, Ohana for lunch w/ babe at work, drove to San Jose for Tahiti Fete to see Taryn dance but fuckin' missed her because they started early! When do those things ever start on time! BOOO! Picked up babe at work w/ 2 Mocha Fraps in hand, crossed the bridge to IKEA in the EPA, found candles and candleholders for the centerpieces super cheap, Wal-Mart at Macarthy Ranch, on to DnB for dinner and drinks w/ old coworkers. It was fun, but I was faded off 3 margaritas...who's weaksauce now?

Saturday: Woke up butt ass early to get ready to watch Roycee dance at Tahiti Fete, didn't want the same thing to happen that happened to me the prior day so we were there extra early...and guess what...they DIDN'T start on time! Bastards! Stayed there until about 11a (got there at 9a) left to Byron's parents house for Jun's grad party...that started at 5p! Setting up for what seemed like days in the hot ass sun and didn't leave until 3a! Babe's cousin's are pretty funny...I'm so the daughter now.

But wait...there's more...

Sunday: Got up to clean for our potluck/BBQ/day before the 4th. Ate hella in the climate controlled kitchen w/ 10 kids under foot. Illegal fireworks display which everyone enjoyed however I now know what a heart attack feels like. Police came, but like 3 hours later and didn't really do anything but talk to my dad. Had 4 Smirnoff Ices (the twisted kind) within a span of 1 hour after everyone had already left, was drunk as all heezy and babe didn't even have a glass of water next to me on the nightstand! Guess he doesn't know what it feels like to take care of a drunk person.

Monday: Cleaned house like mad people, waited for my lil shit, one of my kids and Katherine to come on over. I heart my sisters! Almost done w/ the invites (cutting them at least), had some ice cream and chocolate cake...now feeling like a fat ass. Some good sex too.

I'm tired and want to go in my car and sleep. Why is it so windy? I hope BART doesn't go on strike tomorrow otherwise I'm likely to kill someone tomorrow.

Lesson learned: Even if the weekend was extended, it's still not enough time.

headache

I have the worst headache known to man right now. Women can relate, especially if you get headaches instead of cramps during that time of month. I thought that some sugar-free mint milanos would help, but no it doesn't.

And my dumbass left my Midol at home.

Weekend's here in 2 hours though! Hurry up, weekend! I'm dying over here!

Wednesday = Thursday

So that means tomorrow = Friday. Yippee!

Who knew that a spider roll and edamame can make you full (and fuckin' be damn expensive too)?

Hey, that kinda rhymed...no wait...it didn't.

I thought I was a poet and didn't even know it.

Now that rhymed!

I'm such a lame ass.

pee-pee dance

Drinking a gallon of water a day causes you visit the facilities 5+ times a day.

Byron and I had really bad gas last night and we had to leave the window open for circulation's sake.

I realize that the last sentence was TMI, but ask me if I care.

I have been displaced from my work area into a vacant office because my boss' sister-in-law is doing work there. I'm kinda really liking having my own office, so it's gonna suck when she doesn't come in anymore.

I had a opportunity for Free Lunch Monday today, but I already ate my salad. Good thing I have Friday off now because now I don't feel so jipped.

Who the hell made up the word "jipped" anyway? Maybe the same person that made up "moded?" I'd like to meet that guy.

CONGRATS TO MIAH ON HIS NEW JOB! (will you come visit me now?)

strength, courage and wisdom

Last week I found out that my aunt has stage 2 breast cancer. It made me realize that we are not invincible and nothing lasts forever. I'm having a hard time with how close it is to me. I mean, I know that cancer runs in the family, but I didn't know how close it was. I'm buying those pink bracelets and giving one to every female member in my family. Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

On another not-so-related-but-kinda subject, I had a dream last night where I was breast feeding my child. Weird.

summertime

7 reasons why driving a black car sucks

1. It gets hella hot in Walnut Creek...and I work there.
2. Sure, it's sexy after it's washed, but 1 day later...it looks dirty again.
3. People always ask you why you got a black car because of reason #1.
4. Not very visible in the dark = hit and run.
5. People make fun of the fact that it has a dark interior as well.
6. Nobody likes to ride in it especially after reason #1.
7. It attracts mosquitos for some reason.

fat ass

I worked out but once this past week. Dammit. Hardcore this week though...Hardcore

I hate getting the sad face from my mom. It is so easy to make me feel guilty. I really wish she didn't know that.

Why do moms make comments about weight loss, then hella feed you afterwards? What kind of message is that? Do you want me to be fat or not?

I can't believe Liza is getting married! Yay engagements!

Man. I'm broke as a joke until the 1st of the month. And that stupid Bone Thugs song keeps playin' in my head. Sucks.

I got a case of the Mondays.

incomplete

I am bored as all hell today at work, so what do I do? Browse xangas of course! I came upon some for some of my sisters who were freshman when I was in my last quarter in school. It got me thinking about 2 things 1) how effin' old I am now and 2) the list of things that I was supposed to do before I left SB. Let's take a gander at that list shall we?

1. Go fishing in the reflecting pool at Storke Tower
2. Light my cigarette on the Eternal Flame
3. Watch the sun come up from the RBR
4. Drive Lucky through campus
5. Get drunk at Chilito's at the UCen during school hours
6. Throw a slammin' apartment party
7. Have sex somewhere on campus, excluding on-campus dorm rooms

I was able to complete 3 of the seven aformentioned. Which 3 I'll leave to your imagination *evil laugh* Happy Friday Everyone!

truth is...

12 honest answers to questions that you don't want honestly answered:

1. No, your child scares the bejezzus out of me.
2. The jeans don't make your butt look big, your butt does.
3. That make-up looks like you put it on using your toes or something.
4. You're not thick, you're FAT.
5. I'll tell you what I told my dog when he wanted to become a cat: IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.
6. You're right. It is you.
7. I don't like hanging out with you, so the answer is no.
8. You are turning into your mother.
9. Please don't bother me with your stupid problems.
10. That color looks awful on you, Kool-Aid.
11. Just put a bag over your head and everything will be okay.
12. Your name and face do not ring a bell...at all.

"I'm so happy for you..."

People say it all the time...but do they really mean it?

I know that I've said this to some people at one point in my life and it kinda makes me wonder about the people that don't say it. I heard that if you love someone, you're happy for them whatever they decide to do with their lives. So does that mean that the people that aren't happy for you, never loved you?

day, be over already!

I just want a huge bag of Jalapeno Potato Chips.

I hate being on the Pill.

when the cat's away...

Damn Skippy the mice will play! My boss is out of the office until 3pm. Woo hoo!

Byron made some fried rice last night. Yummy. Babe, if you're reading this...GOOD JOB!

I think it's funny that I love dogs even though I'm allergic to them. It's kind of ironic.

Hace mucho calor lately...too bad it's scheduled to rain this weekend.

POLL: If you and your husband's relative had the same first and middle name, would you take his last name? Would you trip about not being the only person in the family to have that name?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Toxic by Britney Spears

"It's getting late To give you up I took a sip From my devil cup Slowly It's taking over me " Ah, what's a year without breaking a few hearts? Literally.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

you don't make friends with salad

I bought an Italian blend of lettuce for salad. To my pleasant surprise, it tasted better with my Italian dressing. Go figure.

I wonder how long I can keep this weight loss stuff up. All I did this weekend was sit in an audience (CSUHEB Commencement & Rianna's dance recital) and eat afterwards (Buffet and Chili's).

I'm tired of my love/hate relationship with food. It's very stressful.

my favorite things

1. Coffee on a Friday Morning
2. Taryn & Royce
3. Hanging out in SB with my sisters
4. Family gatherings at Mountain House
5. Spider rolls and edamame
6. Laughing with my real sister and brother
7. Driving Lucky
8. Kisses and Hugs
9. Lying in bed on a Sunday morning with babe
10. Getting emails during work
11. The feeling I get after working out
12. Finding $5 in my jeans pocket
13. Pop music
14. My engagement ring
15. Clam Chowder and fried oysters from Splash
16. Reading other people's online journals
17. People commenting on my journal
18. Dancing
19. Singing
20. Living

Congrats to the grads! The real world sucks! You're gonna love it!

chaotic

Has anyone seen this show? Britney and Kevin are so white trash...it's not even funny. I was watching the whole time thinking are they for real? Britney's kind of a slut. The previews for next week are of their wedding...and guess who's TiVoing that shit.

Yup, I'm a sucker for celebrity reality shows or any reality show for that matter.

Oh Mother Nature

Last time I checked a calendar, I saw that it was June. What the hell...rain? Oh Mother Nature, why must you fuck with us so? Is it that time of month? Because if it is I totally understand...

I hate being left alone on a Tuesday night. I also don't like being yelled at (well, more of a "I'm worried about you" yell than a "Die bitch, die!" kind of yell) while half asleep. I'm not mad, I just don't have anything to say... That's on the real tho.

I gave in a bought some stuff online. Hopefully, I'll get it on Friday. We'll see though. I still do not know what to wear this Saturday. What the hell man, it's not like a formal event or anything...why am I being so indecisive? But I tried on some dresses that I haven't worn since the summer before my last year in college...and they fit! Woo hoo me!

Yogurt is delicious twice a day. Oatmeal ain't that bad either. According to my sister, "It makes you HELLA regular." Damn skippy!

Mountain House = 3 cars, 2 drivers
Union City = 3 cars, 5 drivers
My Lucky will be on loan to my sister while her car's in the shop. Sigh...I don't like automatic in traffic. I will miss you Lucky.

The crap I don't talk about on here anymore Enjoy!

Happy Hump Day everyone!

blast from the past

My lil sis emailed me today and put some pictures in it that brought a smile to my face:

This brought back A LOT of memories, half of which I'm not at liberty to speak of, but let's just say that what goes on in SB, stays in SB.

She also sent me a pic of my cute family:

I wish I was there for installs, but time and money didn't allow.

What's up with all this nostalgia man...it's been like 4 years since I graduated! But look at me now...living in my own home and engaged. I never thought it would be like this.

and...end scene.

I've been super moody over the past couple of days. I won't say that I don't know why because I do and Byron got the brunt end of it since he lives with me. Poor guy.

I've had much on my mind lately and don't really know how to sort it all out. I feel like I'm trying to please everyone else except for myself, which is never good, but only I gotta deal with it right? I've been slacking on my diet and hopefully I can get back on track this week.

Commencement this weekend...woohoo. It's always this time of year that reminds me that I'm an "adult" now.

busted

My oh-so-sweet fiance decided to wash and vaccum my car two days ago...and he found my pack of cigarettes in the center console. I know how he feels about that kind of stuff, so I felt really bad when he approached me about it. I don't know why I got back into the habit again...he kept asking me why and I'd simply say "I don't know."

So I got to thinking, it was a comfort for me back then...then I turned to food...and with all my weight-loss efforts, I've reverted back to my old comfort. It's really sad when I think about it. I don't know why I smoke, I don't know why I started in the first place, and I don't know why I'm not committed to quitting.

In other news, I did start a wedding xanga...if you'd like the link, let me know.

Have a super fantastic weekend everyone!

in my head

I recently was suckered into join BMG, which is cool because I get CDs that I've been meaning to get. I just never got around to getting them. The things you'd do for a free mini-IPod, which I don't even really think I'm going to get. Oh well.

Because I have this new collection of CDs, I know have music constantly playing in my head. Here's my "grab bag" of lyric snippets for today:

"I believe in the stars across the sky
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize
You see, I've waited all my life
For this moment to arrive
And finally...I believe"

"She was a disco light on a Friday night
She moves across the floor
She's oh so tight like dynamite
Blowin' me up with her love."

"You know you did it...I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn"

I'm such a pop-tart.

welcome back

Four days off. Word.

I was surprised that Byron did not have the desire to go to Hayward's PCN. Truthfully, I never really enjoyed sitting through 3 hours of a show (even though I would be in one for 4 years) unless the story and the show itself was truly compelling. I have to say that I did enjoy the last 2 years I went, so I don't know if I'd be missing a whole lot. Byron said that he heard it sucked anyway. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't...I guess we'll never know.

Tricia finally made her way to Mountain House yesterday only to find out that she'll probably be moving to LA within the next couple of months. I guess it's just that time in our lives where the people you love move away and you just kinda have to deal with it. I'm really happy for her though...and her man is the funniest.

I tried some kind of Russian soup today. Borshke is what is called I think. It was delicious.

infidelity

I've been contemplating getting a xanga account so I can post comments on other people's xangas. Maybe I can make that into a wedding blog and this will be my main blog. I don't have much experience balancing two relationships like that so any advice is welcome.

You know that feeling you get when you reach into your pocket and find $5? I so feel like that right now. I'm on track for a 4-day weekend. I was going to come into work for a 1/2 day tomorrow because my boss had interviews scheduled in the morning, but then I looked at his calendar and no interviews scheduled! Woo Hoo! I hope my boss okays it...otherwise I won't be a happy camper come tomorrow.

Tae-Bo kicked my ass last night. I'm doing it tonight again for another beating.

beautiful

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I find that I do much of my thinking in the car (I mean I do have a long commute) and I realized that there are some important people in my life that have major body issues. I was thinking about how I've been dieting and exercising in order to feel better about myself. I don't know if I'll ever get down to a size 2, but hey, there's no harm in trying right?

I heard on the radio the other day that Paris Hilton is not happy with her body. Then it got me thinking...is anyone really? My body issues stem from my mother and grandmother. They would always tell me that I was fat and needed to lose weight. I didn't have the metabolism that my sister had and was just a thicker person. The only time that my mom and grandma thought I looked good was senior year of high school when I was still in guard and dancing for 2-3 hours a day.

I proud of myself because I've lost 15 pounds over the past 3 months and have kept it off. I have 5 months until the wedding and have been pretty good about watching what I eat and exercising. It's an uphill battle, but totally worth it in the end. I'm healthier and have more energy.

traffic

Super slow morning here at work. I suppose I could do some wedding stuff...

Isn't it weird how morning traffic can make or break your day? My commute in the morning is about an hour and 30 minutes...today was no picnic on 580. It's cool that we have a good size house, but damn that traffic can be a bitch in the morning.

I need to get motivated to work out again.

revelations

I had my make-up trial yesterday...loved it. MAC make-up is the shit. My girl Christy was with me and with her it's always good times. IHOP always better in good company.

I noticed that my posts are current in the sense that I write about what's affected me at the moment. No real insight regarding past relationships, only memories of the past (UCSB). Maybe I should be more vague about what I write. Maybe I should talk about my exes or somehow bring them up and then use them as an excuse. Maybe I should judge more and call people out. Maybe I should preach more and walk around like my shit don't stink. Maybe I'll get all riled up about people talking about me behind my back and complaining that it's unfair because I can't defend myself...then turn around and talk shit about my ex...knowing damn well that he don't have the chance to defend himself either.

It's none of my business...but what the hell, I'm nosy as fuck.

socially awkward

How to make certain situations socially awkward

Happy Friday Everyone!

peer pressure

Okay Cheryll, no more wedding talk...for now =P

Total volume of music files on my computer
I'm gonna go ahead and say 0MB as our computer crashed about 2 weeks ago. I'm sure that there were many music files there, however someone had connected the speakers incorrectly and we didn't figure that out until about 2 months ago. Sad.

The last CD I bought
That's a tough one. I think it's "Now That's What I Call Music, Volume 17." The last CD I "recieved" was Gavin DeGraw's "Chariot." You wanna talk about who fell off the Hip-Hop Wagon...I'm your gal.

Song playing right now
...in reality? Nothing, it's silent.
...in my head? "Behind Those Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson

Five songs I listen to a lot, or mean a lot to me
Make Me Whole - Amel Larrieux
This song is just absolutely beautiful...brings tears to my eyes everytime.

Miss Fat Booty - Mos Def
I know I can't afford to stop...for one moment...

Soul Bossa Nova - Quincy Jones (aka the Austin Powers theme song)
I can see the opening dance sequence now...

The Light - Common Sense
Who doesn't love Common?

Do Your Thing - N*SYNC
I had to put one in here...you just gotta listen to the lyrics.

Pass the Baton to Five People
Regan I know you want too...
Miah so you can update already.
Ciciely just for fun.
Jeffy I know you're bored...
Lil Sis if you're out there!

I got bangs now! Woo hoo!

much ado about nothing

Guess what y'all...it's been 4 weeks since I asked for addresses and THE FREAKIN' LIST IS STILL INCOMPLETE! ARGH! It's so out of my control now...I've stated my feelings and if it gets across, it gets across. I'm through with that. On to more important things like my arts and crafts.

Like everyone else, I'm tainted by the past. I had a boyfriend who lied all the time and led me to trust no one. I had another boyfriend who would talk shit about my sisters and close girlfriends to me, but would be hella fake to their faces. Another boyfriend just fucked with my head for about a year or so. No wonder I'm such a bitch sometimes. Fix it damn it.

I'm like everyone else. Mom and Dad paid for me to go to college and bought me a car (which I later paid off). I live in a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house with my fiance. I workout everyday and watch what I eat because I'm not 5'3" and a size 2. I put on pant leg on one leg at a time and take poops on a daily basis. Since I'm so typical...I'm not allowed to have any type of opinion because there is always someone else that has it harder than me. You know what? I don't fucking care. I have what I have and I make do with it. I'm aware of my own personal issues and have addressed them several times with myself.

I need to stop with the coffee in the morning...for real though.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIAH
...MY WHORE IN CRIME!
<3, your #1 hag

help wanted

I bought these special blister band aids and I'm not really sure if they're doing what there supposed to be doing...whatever that may be. Just another battle scar from B2B. Can't wait until next year...

<begin bridezilla rant>I wish that my bridesmaids would just pick a fucking dress and order it already. I want them to do that this month, but it's hard getting a mother of 2 and 3 other girls that hve busy weekends together. I hate the way my sister acts when we do these wedding things. She's so impatient sometimes. <end bridezilla rant>

Vegas in October though! Yay Bachelorette weekend!

I feel sorry for some people because they truly believe that they are strong, when the reality of it all is that no one is. Some may be stronger than others, but not strong enough to stand on their own. Everybody needs somebody.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY ROYCE!

blister

What an exciting weekend filled with Sake Bombs, Jumpers, Spitting on Cakes, Blisters, Steak and Lobsters.

Friday night, went to Miyake's in Palo Alto and saw the REEGSTA himself, live and in the flesh. It was good seeing you and V-May too dawg...your sister also looks a lot like you! After departing to Mountain House with a drunk fiance, listened to him talk about his dog Suzy and a drunk dial message he left on my cell phone while we were in the car.

Saturday morning, up bright and early for an hour workout on the elliptical. Listened to Byron's message on my cell phone and had a good laugh (he listened to it too), then headed off to City Beach for Royceeboy's birthday. Had lots of fun in the jumpers and slides. While trying to blow out the candles, Royce spit on his cake. Not to worry though, my sister took that part of the icing off and threw it away. There were 1216 Skittles in the jar and I guessed 1250.

Saturday night, watched the A's get their asses served to them on a platter by the Yankees. Also saw a brawl on the third deck, which almost resulted in dude falling off the railing. Garlic fries and Skittles (which I won at the birthday party) galore.

Sunday morning, up at the ass crack of dawn to head off to Bay 2 Breakers. Walked 7+ miles, heard Gavin DeGraw in concert and now have a blister the size of a small grape on my right ring toe. Ended the night with a Steak & Lobster meal from Black Angusand complimentary leg and foot massage (thanks babe), then slept for 12+ hours until this morning.

Hopefully next weekend won't be so tiring...

"I'm FULL!"

Those Taco Bell commercials are cheesy...but my favorite one is the guy in the interrogation room and they turn on the light on the other side of the mirror...and capitan is eating a burrito. I tend to amuse easily as most of you know...

Today is "Free Lunch Friday" meaning that I don't bring my lunch from home because I'm going to be fed by someone else. Normally, my boss and his wife would take me out to a restaurant, but my boss has been "under the weather" this week. So, his wife bought a lasagna from Trader Joe's and some Costco sushi to share with me. They're so nice. I love it here.

Tomorrow is Royceeboy's 2nd birthday party at City Beach, which yours truly has to pick up balloons at Party America for, then the A's & Yankees at night. Man, I hope they win because the teams I've been watching lately have lost. I need them winners so I know that I'm not a bad luck charm.

It's Friday the 13th...and I dropped hella brand names in this post. Word.

nesting

I had a pretty uneventful morning here at work and for some reason I decided to reorganize everything. My boss went to a doctor's appointment, so I cleaned for a good hour straight..and the funny part is, my boss' pregnant wife was in his office and she was cleaning too!

I'm deciding on whether or not I should have a second cup of coffee. I can feel my eyes bugging out already...yeah, I think I'll have a second cup.

I've been stumbling on other people's xangas/blogs and I tell you, I noticed that there are a lot of young mothers out there. I always thought that I would be, but now that I'm 25 about to be married at 26, would I still qualify as a young mother? I would like to have my kids before I'm 30 though...maybe this time next year I'll be a momma or a momma-to-be.

I've wished for a kid for so long, but when I think of how I was when I was growing up...goddamn, I give my parents much props for raising me. I think that through junior high to the first couple years of high school, I was my parent's problem child, but I make up for it now. I see how fast my niece and nephew are growing up and my mind just fills with all these thoughts. I don't know what kind of parents Byron and I are going to be...but I'm happy that I won't be going through it by myself.

love actually

I'm so glad that there is someone out there (Mrs. Aure) who knows exactly what I'm going through with this madness also known as wedding planning. At least I know that even though we may not be able to physically be there for each other to help with centerpieces, favors, and invites (although I'm only a phone call away if you need me), there is some I can call to bitch about our significant others and the in-laws to. That's what I call true friendship.

I finally got an email from my mom regarding the barongs. My "auntie" in the Philippines finally responded to my mom and will be emailing me soon. Anyone know what the difference is between Jusi and Pina cloth besides the price? Hook a pinay bride up...

I didn't realize how close graduation was. In one month, Byron's youngest brother will be walking the stage (but he finished in March). I ordered a Ti Leaf and Orchid Lei for the occasion. My favorite. I hope he likes it.

Save-the-dates went out. Guest list count as of May 9, 2005 : 296

Holy guacamole...

Oriental vs. Asian

I remember when I was in SB my last 6 months, I had a job teaching colorguard to a nearby high school. SB is predominantly white, so I was teaching a bunch of white high school girls. I got into this conversation regarding the use of Oriental vs Asian.

white girl #1: "So like, since you're Filipino, are you like Oriental?"
me: "Um, no. Filipinos are actually considered Pacific Islander. But the term 'Oriental' should only be used for items, the term 'Asian' should be used for people."
white girl #2: "I don't get it. What's the difference?"
me: " The term 'Oriental' is derived from what the West, meaning Europe and the Americas would refer to as 'the Orient.' What many people don't know is that 'the Orient' was actually anything outside of the Occident (Europe & the Americas). It just so happened that most of their trading was done in Asia."
white girl #1: (confused) "I don't get it."
me: "Just don't use the word 'Oriental' anymore. I consider it racist."
white girl #2: "Okay, we won't."

I've spent 24 hours eating "Oriental" food...yesterday dim sum for lunch, thai food for dinner and today for lunch chinese. Yum. I wonder what's for dinner.

label whores

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned
- Gavin DeGraw, "I Don't Wanna Be"

I think I'm past this "quarter life crisis" everyone kept talking about (even me if you read my old posts). I can't say that I've chosen my life path and that I know exactly where I'm going (who really does anyway?), it's just that now I'm content with the way things are now. Wedding planning and stress aside, I'm truly happy. So what if I'm not keeping my last name, so what if people refer to me as "Mrs. Evangelista" or "Byron's Wife" or "The Old Ball and Chain." I'm comfortable in myself and my identity to know that it shouldn't affect me...and bottom line is that it doesn't.

Put a label on that, BIOTCH!

this shit is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

6 months 'til the wedding. 6 months of planning and coordinating stress. 6 months left of being a Soria. 6 months of arts and crafts. 6 months of bridal party "get togethers." 6 months to find barongs and places that will custom dye. 6 months to make a music video. 6 months to select pictures for montage. 6 months 'til I have in-laws.

6 months until I become someone's wife.

points

Lately, everything I eat has been governed by points. I'm on that diet plan where all my servings have a point value. For example, I eat Yoplait Light Yogurt, one large banana, and a 100 calorie pack of Honey Maid Thin Crisps. This totals to be about 6 points. I am allowed 24 points a day for proper weight loss. I have also been on the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes at least 5 times a week, which add about 2 points to my day (but I don't really use them unless I absolutely have to). I've lost 12 pounds so far...but my grandma (actually, her sister) told me that I need to lose more.

DUH! My wedding dress calls for it!

I can't believe tomorrow is exactly 6 months from the wedding. 6 MONTHS! Better get back to work!

wrong side of the bed

WARNING: If ever you are sleeping in the same room as me, NEVER try to wake me up with tickling or shaking. Please be advised, you will find that (a) I am not a morning person, (b) I will not think it is funny and (c) I may rip your head off.

It's like those times when your mom would tell you, "Your not gonna stop until somebody gets hurt!" But whatever...I'm over it. I just hate to have sleep cut short and wake up when I'm not ready to wake up.

People whine too damn much. It's called transferrence. Maybe the issue is with your dad and not the men you meet.

just like Grandma used to make...


Pinakbet: A mixture of vegetables that include:
bittermelon, eggplant, and squash

Which Filipino Food Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Now I'm all hungry...shit.

Preschool

If you give a mouse a cookie, especially a chocolate chip one, would it kill it? I mean, if you give a dog chocolate, it's bad right? Wouldn't it be the same for a mouse?

I don't think I would eat green eggs and ham. Doesn't green = mold = sick for days? No thanks, Sam.

Them Bernstein bears always be gettin' themselves into some shit. Especially the boy one and when he's with his cousin.

What the hell did Courdoroy need that pocket for anyway? My concern would be the bear coming to life.

The Get Along gang was the shit.

Happy Friday Everyone!

rain, go away

Instant Traffic...just add water.

Have I mentioned that Walnut Creek has a very large population of old people? Yeah...and it seems like they're on the road all the fucking time.

I suppose I should go to the post office today and buy some stamps. Those save-the-date cards aren't going to mail themselves.

The cool thing about TiVo is that you can record your fave programs to watch at a later time. What is not cool is that you recorded a results show (i.e. American Idol) and have yet to watch it...but people on the radio are blabbin' out who was kicked off. Talk about your spoilers.

I bought some sugar-free chocolate yesterday. It's actually not that bad and I don't feel guilty about eating it.

Note to self: glass of milk and yogurt in the morning, slice of cheese and several pieces of sugar free chocolate does not make for a pleasant evening.

stir it up

I got my "I Heart Byron" T-shirt yesterday. I thought it was a baby tee for some reason and ordered it in large, but it turned out to be a regular size shirt. Oh well...it's the thought that counts.

This past weekend we had a get together with our families and bridal party. It was cool just hanging out, eating, stuffing envelopes with save-the-date stuff and admiring my artistic abilities. Byron's mom made her list of people to invite...and the list was 100+ people. All I have to say to that is "snip, snip."

Because of this, I apologize in advance to the people who are assuming that they are invited to the wedding. I quickly learned that weddings are quite expensive and that Byron and I combined have a lot of family.

I got my tax return last week and it's already spoken for. Luckily, I get paid next week. Not so luckily, that's already spoken for too. I just cannot win.

Some people should really think before talking.

long week

Happy 82rd Birthday Grandma!

It has been a very busy week for yours truly. I would like to, if I may, pat myself on the back because out of the 5 work days this week, I was successfully able to wake up at 545 am and work out for 4 of them before work. For those that know me well, you know that I love me some sleep. I love sleep so much that my last 2 quarters at the University of Casual Sex & Beer, I never had a class before 2 pm...and still never made it there. Sad.

We went to Byron's aunt's funeral on Wednesday. Byron's mom introduced me to a lot of family. I'm actually starting to feel like an Evangelista.

That same night, things happened that resulted in Byron falling asleep and me crying. We're okay now.

Did you know that you can custom print on M&Ms? I think that is the coolest thing!

Cingular sucks because I had a voicemail on my phone and couldn't access it 'til yesterday.

Save-the-date magnets wer shipped on Wednesday. Now if only I could get my I heart Byron shirt so I can wear it on Sunday...

love you long time

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Inseperable
Your meeting was by	Choice
They are your	Protector
You are their	One and only
Your love will	Last for all eternity
Quiz created with MemeGen!

release

One toilet to another toilet: I've been taking crap from everyone today. What a shitty day.

I've noticed that when I use the facilities here at work, there are times when the toilet seat is up. I have to say that I'm used to putting the toilet seat down at my own or my parent's house...but in the women's bathroom? I also noticed that the seats are up when there are Russian's using the toilet (I'm not racist, a lot work here), so is it a Russian thing?

Something to think about.

Being an adult sucks. I wish I could have my parents pay for stuff.

baby talk

What I love about Sabercat Friday nights is that I can go to Union City to spend some QT with my little shining stars, Taryn & Royce. Taryn is a full fledged little girl now with that 5 going on 13 attitude and Royce is at that copying stage, so you really have to watch what you say in front of him. I need to find some kind of office store to make our inserts for our save-the date mailings. I'm going to print those out at my parents house because they have a really nice printer.

Byron and I made the decision to become pregnant in 2006. Surprisingly, he was the one that brought it up.

I was really upset about Byron's purchasing decisions as of late and was upset for most of the night. Then we got a phone call from his mom only to find out that one of his aunts had an annuerism (sp?) this week. She is now brain dead and they are pulling her from life support this weekend.

Life is too short to wait for the inevitable.

sacrifice

Have you ever had a conversation on the phone with someone and wanted to stick your hand in the reciever and strangle them?

I felt that way today, except I wanted to do it over email.

SOMEONE who I have been sharing my life with for the past 2 years advised that he had recently purchased maple cabinets for the garage. This same SOMEONE also gave me a long winded speech a few days after becoming engaged about how we should not make extraneous purchases as we are footing most of the wedding bill ourselves.

I'm just frustrated because we're supposed to be in this, all of this, together.

eye of the tiger

I've been having some skin issues lately right next to my right eye. It's like dry and flaky, but that's what I get for rubbing my eyes right? Do you know why girls rub their eyes in the morning? Because they have no balls to scratch! HAHA...that was a really old joke that I had to share with everyone.

We haven't hit the 6 month mark yet and we have almost all of our vendors set. Deposits are paid and contracts are signed...woohoo! I feel like I should be doing stuff like making centerpieces and favors and what-not. There's still so much to do...I don't want to run out of time...

sidenote: You know that FRIENDS episode where Monica tries on Emily's dress, then both her and Phoebe are having this grand old time in wedding dresses in Monica's apartment? I TOTALLY know how that feels now. I want to be sitting at work, wearing my dress because that dress makes me feel so beautiful.

finding "the one"

I found my dress! It's so beautiful! I went dress shopping today with my mom and my bitches (aka bridesmaids, haha) and the 3rd dress I tried on was absolutely the perfect dress. It wasn't too heavy or intricate...it was perfect! And totally not the style of dress I thought I was going to get! Yay wedding!

all growed up

I was reading through some of my old posts today...and I believe that I've evolved somewhat. I would talk about how I thought Byron was the one, blah, blah...then it turned to I want to have kids and get married, blah, blah...and now I talk about actually planning a wedding. It's weird to see where you've been in comparison to where you are now.

to eat...or not to eat

Something in my brain keeps telling me to call and order mongolian beef from the chinese restaurant over here.

Some things are easier felt than explained, which is what I found while I was talking to Byron on the phone today. He asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. We've been together long enough that he knows that nothing means something. I'm at a loss for words, so I just tell him that I don't want to get into it. This week has been great in terms of getting ideas for the wedding and what not, but not so great in the planning of it all.

I'm gonna eat my sandwich now.

oh...it's so quiet!

That Bjork song reminds my of 2 things: Colorguard and Happy Texas.

I've been looking into honeymoons in Tahiti and Bora Bora. It is so beautiful there! I can't seem to find my passport though...uh oh.

I took some Nyquil last night because my allergies where kicking my ass. I didn't know this at the time, but it's actually possible to hallucinate in your sleep.

I've compiled a list of "first dance" songs and have printed out about 10 pictures of possible wedding dresses. See what happens when your boss is gone for the week?

I ain't no holla back girl!

a series of unfortunate events

RIP to Pope John Paull II. I'm not a devout Catholic, but I can honestly say that he's the only Pope I've ever known.

Is it bad that I relish in the misfortune of others, especially when the outcome is in my favor?

Nothing confirms your weight gain like your future mother-in-law handing you a 15-day diet.

Wedding dresses...here I come!

Serial Randomness

-The celebration of Jesus being risen has liberated me...I can eat rice again.

-I ate some Cali Rolls yesterday for dinner and it had sesame seeds in it. I know that I chewed them up real good too. I took a poop this morning and the sesame seeds were still in tact! Damn, just like corn. Why does that happen?

-When you need it, you can't find it. But when it's useless, it's everywhere.

-I remember in the 4th grade I had a project in which I had to creat a recipe including chocolate. Honey + Peanut Butter, sandwiched in between 2 Graham Crackers, then covered in melted Milk Chocolate = the After School Special.

-When 1pm rolls around, I never know what I want for lunch. Oh, look what time it is and guess who doesn't know what they're having for lunch.

-I must, I must, I must increase my...workout time?

-Does anyone want to buy me the "Jersey Trilogy" on DVD? I already have it on VHS. Too bad I don't have a VCR.

-While looking through myspace.com, I've noticed that my brother's middle/high school friends are all getting drunk in Vegas and complaining that they're not 21 anymore. Not 21 anymore? When did y'all even turn 18?

-Happy Birthday Nelson!

still female

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

According to this, I'm more of a man than the Reegsta.

stupid is...as stupid does

I checked the office messages when I got into work this morning and there was this woman on the phone that made a big stink about the recruiting emails that I send out. Personally, if I am recieving emails that I don't want I either (a) delete them, (b) email the sender to be removed or (c) block the email address. All three options take about 5 seconds tops, but this bitch, feeling all righteous and shit, starts goin' off about how she's a "director of HR" and earns $187,000/yr not including bonuses and she doesn't have to sell anything. Well, tell me this, why is your greedy ass posting your resume? She wasted 3 minutes just for that message. I tell you...there are just some people in this world that prefer to make it difficult ALL THE TIME.